A Mile in My Shoes
by LadyStina
Summary: Pre-movie. Something goes terribly wrong during a routine kidnapping forcing Megamind and Roxanne to work together to find a permanent solution.
1. What's in a Name?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

**AN:** I present to you my second Megamind fanfic. This is set pre-movie and not in the same universe as "The Rescue." As of *this* moment, it's not AU, but may turn that way if my girly-side gets the better of me and they do more than make goo-goo eyes at each other. I'd also like to apologize for all flaky science on my part. Just remember, Megamind is WAY smarter than me. (It's big for a reason!) Because I've always enjoyed these types of stories, when they are well done, I bring you a body switching fic. And I hope I have pulled off the 'well done' part. To (hopefully) keep confusion low as to who is talking or acting while in someone else's body, I've decided to use the following format:

Normal:

Sheldon says, "Hey Leonard, watch this."

Sheldon in Leonard's body:

_Sheldon_ states, "Oh, my! That wasn't supposed to happen," while adjusting Leonard's glasses on his nose.

We cool? Cool. On with the story!

A Mile In My Shoes

Ch 1 – What's in a Name

Megamind made a last-minute adjustment to the tension-coil on the release for his newest trap. This one would work! He was sure of it. But…well….if not, he would at least gain valuable data points for the next glorious scheme!

He heard a metal door creak open at the loading dock of the abandoned factory he was setting up in. He turned and saw his constant companion, Minion walking in with Roxanne being carried over his mechanical shoulders. The mechanical gorilla suit that allowed the fish mobility was one of the inventions he was proudest of. Mostly because he and Minion had poured over every single detail beforehand, and it allowed Minion some protection when he wasn't around.

"Ahh, Min-yon!" he greeted excitedly. "Just on time, as always you perfect piscine!"

"Oh, stop, Sir," Minion replied, slightly embarrassed. "I'm just sticking to the schedule _you_ set out." He gently set Roxanne Ritchi, star reporter and frequent kidnapping victim, into the 'kidnapping chair.' Her hands were bound behind her already, but since she was still unconscious, Minion tied her to the chair to keep her from falling out.

"Was you able to get your escape teleporter working, Sir?" Minion asked as he tied the final knot.

"The Emergency Matter Transference Machine!" Megamind corrected haughtily. Honestly, what was the point of coming up with great names if no one was going to use them properly? "And no…," he continued thoughtfully. "None of the objects we tested it on reacted in the slightest. I'll have to go back to the design board to see what's wrong. Right now, it's just a hunk of junk." He gave the machine next to Roxanne a kick for good measure.

At the dull thump, he noticed that Roxanne jumped slightly from her slumped-over position in the chair. That faker!

"Oh, hoho! Minion, it looks like Miss Ritchi in employing yet another nosy reporter skill. She's playing marsupial!" he pointed at her triumphantly then waved to Minion to remove the bag from her head.

"I think its 'playing 'possum,' Sir," Minion replied as he whipped off the bag.

"This is getting really annoying, you know! It's my day off!" Roxanne snapped as her head was freed. Ahh, that would explain the blue jeans.

"Eee-vil never takes a day off, Miss Ritchi," he replied back just a bit smugly.

"Apparently, neither do I," she grumbled.

"That's right, Miss Ritchi, for you are vital to my plans! For you see, when your boyfriend in tights," for some reason, she huffed in frustration at that, "comes to rescue you from my eee-vil clutches, he will be doused with my Magnetic Adhesive." He told her as he circled her chair. He knew better than to reveal his plans, but if he was honest with himself, he enjoyed talking to her. And he sometimes hoped that she would be impressed with the things he came up with.

"Once coated with it, I will activate the Electromagnetic Stasis Beam which will react with the adhesive and, as the name indicates, hold Metro Man helpless. _That's_ when we'll hit him with the Depowerizor!" he finished with a flourish.

"Uh huh," Roxanne dead-panned. "Now, I guess you want me to ask you what the 'Deflower Incisor' does."

Megamind shot her a glare. Surely she was just messing up the name to get a rise out of him. Well, she wouldn't get it this time.

"The _Depowerizor,_" he stressed the word, "merely produces a semi-permanent, localized, quasi-entropic flux field.

"What does that even mean?" Roxanne blurted out. It looked like he managed to get her flustered, finally. It was usually the other way around.

Megamind steepled his fingers in front of his chin and replied, "Well, Miss Ritchi, it means that his powers will be effectively stripped from him. Thus putting an _end_ to Metro Mahn!" He gave an evil laugh for effect.

"You know this won't work, right?" she asked a bit snidely.

"We'll just see about that, Miss Ritchi," he replied a bit snidely back before turning to the control panel. Always doubting! Was it _his_ fault that the overly-muscled moron usually broke his inventions before they had a chance to activate? _Everything_ he brought out for their rivalry was ingenious and in working order. _This _time, he had compensated for it though. The stasis beam was the key.

With his back turned to Roxanne, he waved Minion over. When Minion got close he whispered, "Minion, take the invisible car and leave before I start up the electromagnet. I'm not sure how your suit will react and I won't have you be as vulnerable as a sitting water fowl."

"But, Sir! I can just stay back! What if you need me?" Minion protested equally quietly.

"I…" Megamind looked into Minion's eyes, "I _need_ you safe."

Minion looked like he wanted to protest, but then bobbed his body in a nod, "I understand, Sir. You'll get him this time!" he encouraged as he walked away. Once he left the building, Megamind did a quick check of his cameras. He really _was _worried about a possible electrical discharge, so he had left his brainbots at the Evil Lair. He flicked a switch to pirate the television airwaves and let the show begin.

"Mwahahahahaha," he laughed for a classic eee-vil opening. "Greetings citizens of Metrocity! It is I, your future overlord, Megamind! And Metro Mahn, I'm calling you out. Once I deshtroy you, Metrocity will be mine!" He laughed again for good measure. "And just to make sure you don't get cold feet…" he switched to a different camera to show Roxanne tied to her chair. Then he pushed a button and a Gatling gun sprung up from the floor next to her and aimed at her head. She flinched a bit, but still no scream. Drat! He thought he would get her that time. He switched the camera back to himself.

"You see I have Miss Ritchi in my clutches. If you wish to keep her breathing, you will be here within the hour." He presented a digital clock that he had converted to a stopwatch to the camera and pressed a button. The numbers started counting down from '60:00.' "Tick-tock, Metro Mahn!" He laughed again and shut down the broadcast.

Megamind flipped a switch to warm up the electromagnet, then sighed and turned to Roxanne, "Not even a shtartled gasp for the camera, Miss Ritchi? Tsk. And I thought you were a professional."

"A professional what? Journalist or kidnapee? Because, honestly, I think I'm racking up equal time as both." Then she frowned thoughtfully, "But I'm only getting paid for one… I think we need to discuss my salary, Megamind."

"W...What!?" he spluttered. "You've been _kidnapped_ and are being held _hostage_! That does not constitute a pay rate!" Then he thought a minute. This _could _work in his favor… "Would…would you scream if we formalized this arrangement? Because you are a _terrible_ damsel-in-distress since you never seem…well…distressed…"

Roxanne sat back and blinked like she never thought he would take her seriously. "Well," she said slowly, "if you're serious… I'm sure we could work it out in the contract negotiations…"

"We'll shedule a-" before he could say anything more, a hole was blasted through the roof almost right above Roxanne as Metro Man arrived. Damn him for being early for once!

He heard the Magnetic Adhesive trap activate and an "Eww, gross!" Taking that as meaning his aim was true, Megamind pulled a lever on the control panel and the slight hum of electricity that was present in the background increased to a roar as the Electromagnetic Stasis Beam was fired.

In the middle of the bright white energy beams Megamind could just make out Metro Man's form. Assuming that he was being held still, he turned the dial to activate the Depowerizor, laughing as he did so. Before the Depowerizor activated though, he saw Metro Man's form fly off the ground and right towards one of the electromagnets.

Realizing what was about to happen, he simultaneously held up the end of his cape and turned his body to protect himself and shield Roxanne and shouted, "NO, YOU FOOL! THE ELECTRICCAL BACKLASH WILL DO UNTOLD-" his warning was interrupted by a crash as that idiot ignored him and destroyed one of the electromagnets. Out of the corner of his eye, Megamind saw an electric arc hit the top of the Emergency Matter Transference Machine right next to him and Roxanne.

He squeezed his eyes shut to prevent retinal damage and once again shouted, "_YOU FOOL!_ Be care-" _Megamind_ stopped suddenly.

That was wrong.

That sounded like Roxanne's voice… He opened his eyes and saw his own shocked and very blue face staring back at him.

"Aagghh!" both he and his body screamed. His body dropped the cape he had been holding and jumped back. _Megamind_ looked down and saw a body-shape that was definitely unlike his own and that he was tied to a chair. He looked up again and saw his body staring at his gloved hands and then it shot a glare at him and pointed.

"You…. You… What did you do?!"

_Megamind_ could only shake his head is shock. There was a strange flapping sensation coming from on top of his head. "Miss Ritchi?" he asked in Roxanne's voice.

His body narrowed his eyes at him and hissed, "Fix this." Before anything else could happen, there was a massive thud as Metro Man landed right behind his body and lifted it up by the extended collar, like usual. His body started choking and was feebly attempting to pull on the front of the collar to get some air. Then Metro Man, who was _not_ covered in the adhesive _at all_, punched the useless teleporter to the other side of the room where it broke into pieces.

"Wait! Don't-" _Megamind_ tried to protest Metro Man's treatment of _Roxanne_ in his body when the vibrations of the heavy equipment being tossed around caused a loose chunk of the ceiling to become dislodged and fall on his borrowed head. He became dazed and didn't understand what Metro Man was saying or what was happening when he was untied and lifted.

He blinked and felt wind rushing past his face. He also heard himself explaining something. Was he talking? It felt like his mouth was shut…

_Megamind_ blinked again and found himself laying on a couch in a room that was vaguely familiar. What was he doing in Miss Ritchi's apartment? He sat up quickly, but was blindsided by the mother of all headaches. He quickly shut his eyes and reached up to rub his aching head. His hand encountered something he had never touched on his head before.

Hair.

He gave it a slight tug and decided that it was definitely attached. He opened his eyes slowly and focused on the blue jeans in front of his bowed head. The jeans seemed to be covering a larger area than usual. He brought his hand down from his head to touch them then froze when he saw the slender pink appendage with red-painted nails.

In a flash, everything came back to him and he jumped up from the couch in a panic. He ran to a mirror and stumbled a bit since his center of gravity was different than he was used to. When he got to the mirror, he saw Roxanne's slightly wild-eyed face staring back at him.

To test his voice, he spoke to the mirror, "Citizens of Metrocity, it is I…" and trailed off. The voice was Roxanne's but with his speech inflections.

By Pythagorean's Theorem, how the _hell_ did _this _happen? There was Metro Man destroying the electromagnet… an arc flash…it hit the Emergency Matter Transference Machine… He yelled something about a backlash… What backlash? And… and why was it so hard to think?! He was in shock… that was it…

He turned to find some paper to jot down ideas and get the thoughts in his head to stop swirling. That hit to the head probably gave him a concussion or something. He made it to Roxanne's neatly organized computer desk and started searching for paper. He found several notepads, so he grabbed one just as there was a knock on the door.

"Minion," _Megamind_ said in relief. Minion had found him and came to the rescue once again. That fantastic fish! He ran to the door and threw it open with a, "Min-… Wait. I don't know you…"

"Oh, ha ha, Roxanne," said the overweight red-headed man at the door. "Mr. Lawson has been calling you for, like, two hours now! There's a fire and he wants us to cover it, so, like, let's go or whatever."

"Cover?" _Megamind_ asked in confusion. "Oh, you mean to report?" he asked in sudden realization.

"Well, duh. You ok, Roxie?"

_Megamind_ leapt at the opportunity that presented itself, "No! I am not 'ok.' I was kidnapped and just got back."

"Uh…so? You always work after a kidnapping. So, let's go."

"I really don't feel like myself today," _Megamind_ tried again. Boy was _that_ an understatement. Then he remembered something, "Oh, and I think today's my day off. So tell Mr. Lershon to get another reporter-lady." He shut the door in the poor guy's baffled face.

"Sorry Roxanne, but you _really_ don't want me filling in for you," he whispered to the air. Minion! He had to get to Minion and the Evil Lair! His schematics were there and he could figure out what happened and how to fix it.

He stopped as a thought occurred to him. If _he_ was here, that means _Roxanne_…. Oh no…


	2. Under My Skin

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

**AN:** To (hopefully) keep confusion low as to who is talking or acting while in someone else's body, I've decided to use the following format:

Normal:

Sheldon says, "Hey Leonard, watch this."

Sheldon in Leonard's body:

_Sheldon_ states, "Oh, my! That wasn't supposed to happen," while adjusting Leonard's glasses on his nose.

We cool? Cool. On with the story!

Ch 2 – Under My Skin

Roxanne saw Megamind squeeze his eyes shut so she did the same. Then she heard, "_YOU FOOL!_ Be care-," in her _own_ voice.

She opened her eyes and saw herself tied to a chair in front of her. The eyes on her body opened and looked right at her.

"Aagghh!" both her and her body screamed. She dropped what she was holding and jumped back. She almost stumbled and threw an arm out for balance. When she did, there was a flash of black. In confusion, she brought her arms in front of her and looked down. The arms were slimmer than what she was used to and covered in black leather and spikes. She flexed her right hand and the hand in front of her responded.

No. No, he did _not_ just do this to them! She looked up quickly and shot her body a glare knowing it was _him_ inside. She pointed at her body and demanded, "You…. You… What did you do?!"

_Megamind_ shook his head with eyes wide, "Miss Ritchi?" he asked. Oh no…. It was a mistake… This wasn't supposed to happen, she could tell by his expression.

She narrowed her eyes at him and hissed, "Fix this." Before she could threaten him with anything, there was a massive thud as Metro Man landed right behind her and lifted her up by the extended collar. She started choking as the mantle pulled tight against her throat and tried to pull on the front to get some air. Then Metro Man punched the strange machine her body was sitting beside to the other side of the room where it broke into pieces.

"Wait! Don't-," _Megamind_ said right before a chunk of the ceiling dislodged itself and fell on his head. He didn't lose consciousness, but he wasn't all there, either.

"Don't worry, Roxie. I've got you," Metro Man said in that smarmy voice of his towards her body. That narcissistic nitwit. And since when did she start purposely using alliteration in her thoughts? She was still struggling to keep breathing. How did Megamind do this all the time? Metro Man untied Roxanne's body and held it to him, then adjusted his grip on _her_. Suddenly they were flying.

"Metro Man, you're making a mistake!" she pleaded in Megamind's voice when she finally got enough air in her lungs.

"The only mistake here is you attempting to terrorize the citizens of Metro City!" Metro Man bantered. Oh great.

"Yeah, cause _that's_ hard," she muttered. Being with the press, she knew _exactly_ how panicky people could get.

"Good will always rise up to thwart evil," he continued.

"Gah! I know! Just. Listen a sec! That incredibly insane idiot," she was doing it again! "somehow switched our bodies. I'm Roxanne!" Metro Man looked at her suspiciously. "No, seriously, ask me something."

Metro Man then gave her an understanding look and seemed to drop the hero act. She'd never seen him do that before. "Oh, I see. Going for the insanity defense, huh? I'd advise against it, Little Buddy. Once you do that, they'll pump you so full of drugs you can't move and then start _experimenting_," he whispered the last word with horror. "You know neither of us wants to go through that again." She felt the shudder run through him.

What? The reporter in her perked up. They were experimented on? When was this?

"Let's just stick to the usual, ok, Little Buddy? I'll drop you off once I make sure Roxie's settled in alright." Bewildered, she just nodded as her apartment balcony came into view.

They landed and Metro Man deposited _Megamind_ gently on her couch. She shot her body a glare as she was hauled off once again. They traveled in silence until they were descending towards the prison.

Metro Man broke the silence, "Remember what I said," he warned her.

Decided to try to imitate Megamind, she replied in a condescending tone, "Well if _you_ could see through that ruse then it obviously needs work."

Metro Man laughed then, "Exactly!" What was up with these two? They landed and Metro Man pushed her in front of him and guided her through the door. They came to a stop in front of a man in late-middle age with white hair and mustache. "Warden," that smarmy voice was back, "I would like to make a deposit."

"Nice to have you back, Megamind," the Warden said snarkily, "We have your room all ready for you."

She said nothing and then Metro Man gave her a poke. What would Megamind usually say here?

"Uh, I hope you didn't go through too much trouble. I won't be shtaying long." There. That sounded good, didn't it? And why did she mispronounce 'staying?'

"Long enough," the warden said with finality. "Metro Man, would you mind?"

"Not at all," he replied and started pushing _Roxanne_ towards a door in the back of the room. They entered the door and she saw an orange jumpsuit, a pair of underwear, a pair of socks and a pair of shoes sitting on a chair in front of her. Metro Man closed the door and leaned up against it after letting go of her arms.

She worked out that she was supposed to change, but in front of _Metro Man_?

"So why are _you_ here?" she asked.

"Ah, you know how the guards are. They're always afraid that you'll trick them somehow. But then, I hear that you _have_ before, so I'm doing them a favor," He shrugged.

"You're too kind," she muttered as she turned her back to him. Might as well get this over with… She got the long gloves off with a little difficulty. She couldn't help staring at the long and extremely blue fingers she was in possession of for the moment. She shook her head and completed changing, keeping her eyes very tightly closed when switching out underwear. She was _positive_ that she wasn't ready for _that_ yet, and probably never would be… When she was finished, she turned to Metro Man and raised an eyebrow.

"You want me to put them on, or should I get a guard?" he asked, enigmatically. Put what on?

"Whatever," she replied vaguely with a shrug for good measure.

"Hold still then," he answered and approached her with a handful of chains. The next thing she knew, her hands were cuffed in front of her with a chain running down to her similarly cuffed feet. God, she felt all trussed up like a common….well… never mind…

She was shuffled out of the room and then was accompanied by a couple guards as Metro Man left. She was led past several cells all filled with orange-suited prisoners. Most of them called out something to her-as-Megamind. Some were derogatory, but most were greetings, good-natured ribbing, and well-wishes. She just looked straight ahead not really wanting to talk to any prisoners that Megamind might know. Oh, God… Was she going to end up in one of these cells with someone he knows?

Fortunately, she was lead past that cell block and through two different checkpoints. Then she saw a dome-like structure with a metal door at the end of a hallway with two _additional_ checkpoints only about fifteen feet apart. There was a computer bank set up next to that metal door. She was lead past the checkpoints and towards the metal door. She noticed in her peripheral vision the writing on the wall that said "Cell Block 9," and that the computer monitors appeared to be brain-scanning equipment.

The door in front of her slid open and she could only stare in horror at what was inside the dome. It was like a day-care exploded in there. The walls were covered in a blue sky with green hills along the bottom along with very poorly drawn woodland creatures frolicking. The centerpiece was a garish rainbow with the words, "Happy Thoughts Make Happy People" underneath. No wonder Megamind wore black leather and spikes all the time. She would have a hard time not doing the same when she got out of here.

The guards pushed her in and removed her shackles. One of them said, "Welcome home," as they left and the door slid closed. She looked around. Well, at least she was in here by herself. That was _some_ good news anyway. She sat down on the chair in the middle of the room and idly spun it back and forth.

She was going to kill him. Once she somehow got out of this demented day-care and somehow got back into her own body again, she would kill him. _How_ could he do this? She looked down at her borrowed blue hands and started inspecting them curiously. The fingers were long and were probably dexterous as well. The skin color was slightly lighter on the palms, and the skin felt softer than she would have expected. That must be from his habit of wearing gloves all the time.

Her nosy reporter side was coming out and she curiously raised one hand to her head. It was definitely larger than it should have been and it was disconcerting to say the least when she felt smooth skin instead of hair. She ran her hand along her ear and felt the strange point at the apex. Next she felt her sharply pointed chin and felt the goatee. She should shave that off. That would aggravate him to no end. _And_ it's possible that he would keep his head down until it grew back! That just might give her some time off. She let an evil little chuckle slip out at that thought, then stopped and frowned as she heard _his_ voice.

She sighed and brought a hand to the back of her neck, a nervous gesture she had picked up in college. She jumped and gasped as her fingers brushed the area then quickly moved her hand away. That was _entirely_ too sensitive! That must be the reason for those high-collars he always wore. She popped the collar on her jumpsuit so it was standing straight up to keep anything from touching that area.

"_Sir! Are you free to talk, Sir? Just give me a sigh if you're not."_ Minion's voice came out of nowhere. She glanced around hurriedly, and sure enough, there was no fish-headed mechanical gorillas hiding in the non-corners of her room.

"Minion?" she whispered, "Where are you? Get me out of here!"

"_Sir? Are you awake, Sir?" _Oh for Pete's sake! He can't hear her? What kind of system do they have working anyway?

Not knowing what else to try, she thought at him really hard, "Minion? Can you hear me?"

"_Well, either you're asleep or your transmitter has malfunctioned, Sir. Just in case it's the latter, we will attempt Escape Plan: Delta Omega Omicron Mu in a week. Please let me know if you need more time to recuperate if you were injured. This is why I don't like it when you proceed with your plans without me, I'm a nervous wreck! Take care, and I will see you in a week. I'm looking forward to this one, Sir!"_ His voice went silent.

Great, the one semi-friendly voice she heard, and one of the few that would actually _believe_ her and she couldn't talk back to him. How was she supposed to 'transmit' anything to him? Now there was going to be an escape attempt a whole week from now, and she had no idea what to do for her part of it.

_Roxanne_ dropped her giant blue head into her hands and sighed. She was gonna kill him. And now she had to pee.

Worst. Day. Ever.


	3. Out of My Mind

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

**AN** To (hopefully) keep confusion low as to who is talking or acting while in someone else's body, I've decided to use the following format:

Normal: Sheldon says, "Hey Leonard, watch this."

Sheldon in Leonard's body: _Sheldon_ states, "Oh, my! That wasn't supposed to happen," while adjusting Leonard's glasses on his nose.

Ch 3 – Out of My Mind

_Megamind_ searched through Roxanne's closet trying to find something suitable to wear and to pack. He was going to stay at Evil Lair until they got Roxanne out of prison and they found a way to switch back. But he also knew that none of his clothes would fit Roxanne's body so he was packing a bag. How could you claim to have a complete wardrobe without a hint of leather? It boggles the mind!

He threw several pairs of pants into the bag without bothering to fold anything. Then he threw in a pile of dark-colored shirts that didn't offend him too horribly. Blushing, he found her underwear drawer and threw a handful of items into the bag without looking at them. He just barely remembered to grab hair-care stuff since he knew he didn't have any at the lair. He finished shoving everything in the bag and zipped it up. It was much heavier than it looked. Too bad he didn't have his dehydration gun with him.

Oh, crap. That's right. He currently appears to be a woman and going down to the mostly-abandoned warehouse district wasn't the wisest move for an unarmed woman. He would need to make a weapon real quick. He and Minion should _really_ see about rigging up a phone of some sort. _Yes, _they were currently off the grid, but this would be _so_ much easier if he could just call Minion to come pick him up.

_Megamind_ looked around for something to make a weapon out of. Something unobtrusive. His eyes fell on the television remote and he grinned. It should be a simple matter to convert that into short-range weapon. He pounced on it and removed the batteries, then inspected the circuit board he could just make out without prying open the remote entirely.

And his mind was blank.

It should be a simple matter of conversion. All the parts he needed were there: the power-source in the batteries, the signal that emerges when a button is pressed, and the circuit board for tweaking. It would take a mere five minutes to make this a temporary weapon. But he couldn't think of what the next step should be after exposing the remote's innards. Hell, he did something similar to the remote in his prison cell before they started scouring his cell twice daily for improvised tools. Ahh the look on that guard's face was priceless as he threatened him with the remote control. Well, right before he discharged it and made his escape, anyway.

He rested his abnormally small head in his hands and glared at the remote. He must still be affected by that bump on his head. It rattled him more than he thought. Ok, Plan B. Have a cab drop him off near the perimeter of his monitoring system. When Minion gets the intruder alarm, he would see that it's "Miss Ritchi," and keep an eye on "her" to make sure "she" didn't get attacked.

Great. He had a plan. Now… one needs currency to procure a cab… He found Roxanne's purse near the front door and started riffling through it. He was able to locate some cash stuffed into a zippered side pocket. Excellent. He grabbed the purse, keys and overstuffed overnight bag and left the apartment. It took several tries, but he finally managed to find the key that locked her door. What an incredible waste of time!

A half-hour later and he jumped out of the cab about a block from Evil Lair and handed the cabbie some cash. He grabbed the purse and bag and started walking. The trip from Roxanne's apartment to the street to catch a cab was interesting. It was _bizarre_ not to have people staring or glowering at him, or even whispering about him. He would have to see about designing a disguise generator to allow him to get out and about more often…

He walked up to the holographic wall and just walked on through. Once he entered, he breathed a sigh of relief. At least he was back on familiar territory now.

"Minion!" he called in Roxanne's voice as he walked towards his idea cloud, "We have a problem!" He was suddenly surrounded by threatening brainbots. Oops. He kept his hands where they could see them and waited for Minion to arrive. He saw Minion approaching cautiously from around the corner with a dehydration gun and called out, "Minion! Call off the brainbots, I don't have them programmed to respond to Miss Ritchi's voice."

"Miss Ritchi?!" Minion asked, surprised. He must not have heard a single thing _Megamind_ said. "What are you doing here? How did you even find us?! Oh, Sir is _not_ going to be happy about this!"

"You're only about half-right, you fantastic fish, you," he threw that in as a supporting argument for his case. "We somehow switched bodies during the last confronta-shion. Metro Moron managed to evade the adhesive, and as you know, that was the cornerstone of the plan. Without that coating him, he was able to destroy the electromagnet. That's when the switch happened. I'm just glad I sent you away. There's no telling what that electrical discharge could have done to your suit. Make a note, Minion: no more oversized-electromagnets. They're not worth the trouble…" _Megamind's_ brow furrowed and a fingernail found his bottom teeth as he started thinking of other methods to destroy his foe.

Minion's eyes had been widening the entire time what appeared to be Miss Ritchi was talking. Then her body took on Megamind's 'I'm concentrating,' look and Minion was convinced. Yes, his boss told Miss Ritchi the plan earlier, but she had never heard Sir call him that nickname (that was private), or to 'make a note,' and he really doubted that she heard when Sir sent him away earlier.

"Brainbots, stand down," he commanded. "Miss Ritchi is to have full access to the lair until further notice," he added. Then towards Miss Ritchi's body he asked hesitantly, "Sir?" The brainbots began drifting off to entertain themselves.

"Hmm?" _Megamind_ answered distractedly, "Oh, right. Thanks, Minion. Now, we have to figure out what went wrong, how to _fix_ this, and we need to get Miss Ritchi out of prison." He started heading for his idea cloud again. He wanted to look at the blue prints for the Emergency Matter Transference Beam.

"Can… can you tell me what happened, Sir? In greater detail?"

"All I know is when that meat-head smashed the electromagnet, there was an arc flash to the top of the Emergency Matter Transference Beam. I closed my eyes against the flash and when I opened them, I was looking at my own incredibly handsome face with it staring back at me. Quite disorienting."

"I can imagine, Sir."

"Then a chunk of ceiling hit me in the head so I couldn't stop Metro Mahn from carting my body off to prison. And I think I may have a concussion. Do my eyes look dilated to you?" _Megamind_ pressed his head up against Minion's glass dome so he could get a better look.

Minion looked in his borrowed blue eyes and replied, "Your eyes look fine, Sir. And I don't think that's a symptom of having a concussion."

"Ahh, well you're the medical expert. It's very strange though, Minion. I was going to construct a weapon before heading over here, and I couldn't. I had all the components…I think…but I couldn't figure out how to get them to work the way I wanted. That's…that's never happened before…" he trailed off in confusion and plopped down in his high-backed chair.

"Any dizziness, headache, nausea, fatigue, confusion or loss of memories?" Minion listed off.

_Megamind_ rose an eyebrow and looked at Minion, "If I lost memories, how would I know? But yes on the headache. That ceiling gave me a pretty good knot. And for confusion, there is that whole weapon thing."

Minion came over and gently prodded his head. When he found the knot,_ Megamind_ winced and hissed in pain. "I'll get some ice for that, Sir. I think you'll be fine, but I'm used to treating _you_, Sir. Not Miss Ritchi. We'll just keep an eye on you for a while." _Megamind_ nodded as Minion walked away.

He got up and found the blue prints for the Transference Beam. He was pouring over it when he got to the description and formulas at the bottom. He read it twice, then just looked at it with increasing horror. It might as well have been written in the dead language of his home planet for all the sense it made right now. It was in _his_ handwriting but he couldn't understand it. He brought a hand up to his temple and started rubbing then stopped as a thought crossed his mind. He brought his other hand up and felt just how _small_ his head seemed at that moment.

He involuntarily started breathing faster as his thoughts swirled. Did he lose some of his intelligence? No. That was just stupid. He was merely shaking off the effects of getting hit on the head in this different body. It would make sense though; he was currently accessing a smaller brain than he was used to. At least Roxanne was one of the more intelligent humans he had come across.

He moved to his idea cloud and started examining random pieces of paper that dangled from the ceiling. Every time he came across a formula or notation he didn't grasp fully he panicked just a little more and desperately grabbed another hanging paper. As he got more panicked, things made less and less sense. It didn't take long before he was in full panic mode.

When Minion came back with an ice pack, he saw _Megamind_ in the middle of his planning area, looking worried and snatching papers off their strings, glancing at them and then throwing them over his shoulder while grabbing another sheet to repeat the process.

Minion hurried over asking, "Sir? Sir, what's the matter?" Minion placed a hand on _Megamind's_ shoulder to try to calm him down.

_Megamind_ looked at Minion with something like terror shining in his eyes and gasped out, "It's…it's big for a reason," he repeated one of his common taunts, swallowed, then continued, "and…n…now it's not!" He looked at Minion with watery eyes. "I wr…wrote these, but I…I can't understand them!" He threw his arms around Minion and buried his face in Minion's chest. "And…and now I got woman hormones making my eyes leak," he grumbled with his head still buried.

Minion gently rubbed _Megamind's_ back and made soothing noises. "Shh, calm down, Sir. You hit your head and you're having a rough day. It'll be alright, you'll see. Now calm down and count out pi to a hundred places."

There was a sniffling, then a muffled and shaky voice started a list of numbers, "Three point one four one five nine…" Eventually the voice got stronger as the list got longer. _Megamind_ eventually stopped the list and pulled away.

"See, Sir? It was just a panic attack, and probably an overdue one as well. Why don't we make a plan on how to kidnap Miss Ritchi from the prison? That should be challenging, huh?" Minion said encouragingly as he gently placed the ice pack against _Megamind's_ head.

"Yes. Thank you, Minion." _Megamind_ visibly pulled himself together and gestured grandly, "Come, Min-yon! Let's formulate a plan to kidnap Miss Ritchi! To the Planning Board!" _Megamind_ twirled with his normal flare and if he had been wearing a cape, it would have looked suitably dramatic. Although the hand holding an ice pack to his head slightly dampened the effect.

Minion smiled, "Yes, Sir!" and followed after his friend. He couldn't help but worry that _Megamind_ might be right about a slightly lower IQ than he was accustomed to. His intellect was one of the few things he could hold over other people and it wouldn't be fun if he discovers that he's suddenly not as smart as he was just earlier that day. At least a Miss Ritchi kidnapping could always brighten his mood.

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

Roxanne sat in the darkened room with just the TV on for company. For some reason, she wasn't tired. It was 1:34 am and hours after she would normally have been asleep. That was another thing. She had checked the time soon after she was thrown in here (3:57 pm) and she had unconsciously been able to just _know_ what time it was every since then. And then earlier, she had gotten really into this soap-opera type show. She had watched it for twenty minutes before realizing it was on the Spanish channel. Since when could she understand Spanish? Sure, she had taken a couple courses in high school for her language requirement and picked up a couple words here and there, but that shouldn't be enough to leap to "Oh, I know Spanish now." _Why_ was she a walking weirdness magnet?!

"_Miss Ritchi,"_ Minion's voice came from nowhere again. Probably just to answer her question… Oh! He said her name that time! "_I hope you're awake and I apologize for earlier,_" he continued._ "I didn't know what happened. Sir has filled me in on the details. We're going to kidnap you tomorrow and I thought it would be best if I gave you a heads up this time. Now I'm going to tell you how to transmit back to me, but first turn on your TV. When it's on, please flip through the channels until our conversation is over. When you go to speak, you need to talk quietly like you're talking to yourself. Got that? Ok, to transmit, I need you to rest your left cheek on your left fist like you're bored. Now reach your thumb on that hand up to the first piece of cartilage on your ear and press it slightly. That should be it. You read me?"_

She slumped over a little bit and rested her cheek on her fist as instructed, then started slowly flipping channels. She reached her thumb up and pressed the spot he asked her to. "Minion?" she asked quietly.

"_Hello, Miss Ritchi! We have contact!"_ Minion's voice enthused.

"I've got to say, this is pretty impressive. And surprisingly subtle for Megamind." She would never have guessed that the mad scientist, evil villain she kinda knew would be able to design or build anything that wasn't flashing a big 'Look at me!' sign.

"_Well, Miss Ritchi, Sir has lots of inventions that you've never been exposed to. And we _do_ have to ask you not to share this particular one."_

"Trade secret, huh? My lips are sealed. So, what's the plan? You have _got_ to get me out of here. And I hope Megamind has a way to switch us back." She was proud of herself. She didn't growl or anything when she mentioned their switch.

"_Well… we decided to concentrate our efforts on getting you out first!_" Oh, just wonderful. He doesn't know!_ "Sir will come by tomorrow to 'interview' you. But the guards will only let you out of that cell with good behavior, so Miss Ritchi, _please_ don't antagonize them. Everyone there is wary of Sir and will be looking for any excuse to keep you locked up."_ She thought that might be tougher than it should be, but agreed.

"Ok, Minion."

"_Excellent! See you tomorrow, Miss Ritchi! Oh, and just keep flipping those channels for a minute and feel free to gripe about there not being anything on." _She did as he asked. Heck she was doing it before he called her anyway.


	4. Beside Myself (Part 1)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

**AN: **This chapter came out _really_ long so I found a good spot and broke it into two chapters. I'll try to publish out the 2nd half tomorrow.

Ch 4 – Beside Myself (Part 1)

It was the next morning and the best _Roxanne_ had managed for sleep was a light doze for an hour or two. Surprisingly, she didn't feel the normal fuzziness that comes after a sleepless night. She was just beginning to wonder if the inside of the TV would be more interesting than what they were showing on the screen when she heard a breakfast tray being slid through the slot in the door.

"Yay, room service," she muttered sarcastically and moved over to the tray. She saw an unappetizing yellow mass that she suspected was supposed to be scrambled eggs. It looked more like yellow rubber though. There was also a piece of toast, a sealed container of yogurt, and a sealed plastic cup of orange juice. She decided that the yogurt and the orange juice looked the safest and removed them from the tray to eat in the chair. With all those wall-bound caricatures of creatures staring at her. They just got creepier the longer she stayed in here. Now she also understood the thought process behind the creation of the Rock'em-Sock'em Kittens Megamind had created a year or two ago. She was willing to bet that it was shortly after they painted this room.

She was also beginning to understand how he had so _many_ different plans. There was nothing to do in here _but_ think. And when Minion originally contacted her thinking she was Megamind, the escape wasn't going to happen for a week. She ate the unidentifiable yogurt and drank her juice then threw the trash back on the tray. She was pretty impressed because she managed that with an over-the-shoulder shot. After she made the shot, she frowned as she realized that she had taken into account angles, wind resistance and velocity. Why was she taking those into account anyway?!

_Roxanne_ stood up and began pacing. It was getting harder and harder to sit still. Wasn't there supposed to be time in an exercise yard or something? Wait. Bad idea. There would probably be other prisoners out there at the same time. Where was her 'cooperative kidnapping?' It was 8:17 already. When are visiting hours anyway?

She paced for another twenty-two minutes with her mind continuously jumping from idea to idle speculation and back again. _Finally_ the window in the doorway slid open and she saw the warden there giving her a flat look.

"Morning, Warden," she said, attempting to be non-antagonizing. It was still _really_ weird to hear Megamind's voice whenever she talked.

"Megamind." He stated without any inflection. Then he rose an eyebrow her. "It seems that reporter you've taken a shine to has come to interview you."

"Really?" _Roxanne_ asked a little smugly and allowed a slight smile to play about her lips. She reminded herself to act like him, "Miss Ritchi coming all this way to see me? There must be trouble in paradise."

"I doubt that. Hands in front," he commanded.

_Roxanne _obediently put her blue hands in front of her and then the door slid open. The warden was flanked by two wary-looking guards whose hands were straying awfully close to their night-sticks. The warden placed the shackles on her hands and feet again and started to escort her to the visiting area.

They entered a room that had a partition the entire way across that was filled with about ten little cubicles, each with a phone on the side. Strangely they were all empty except the one in the middle where she spotted her body wearing dark clothes with untamed hair on the other side of the glass. The two guards settled in on either side of the door they just entered. The warden gave a little nod and left the room. She took the hint and shuffled over to the cubicle across from _Megamind_ in her body.

When she sat down, _Megamind_ tapped the open notebook in front of him and reached for the phone. She involuntary looked at the notebook as she reached for the phone and saw a message facing her that read, "Act like me. Being monitored."

She didn't make any outward appearance that she noticed the note and said into the phone, "So, we meet again, Miss Ritchi. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Megamind," her body greeted. "This was my boss's idea, so let's just get through this, ok? I just have a few questions."

"Ask away, Miss Ritchi!" she replied grandly. If he wanted her to imitate him, she would do so. And hopefully annoy him too.

"How does it feel to be the most feared villain in Metroc," _Megamind_ coughed a bit to cover his near slip-up then continued with precise enunciation, "Metro City?" He gave another little fake cough, "Sorry. Dust."

_Roxanne_ shot him a very quick glare to give him the _real_ answer, then started acting again. "Well, being the most feared villain in Metrocity," she made sure to mispronounce it like he always did, "is one of my goals. The only thing standing in my way of taking over this city is that blasted Metro Mahn." She had heard enough of his monologging over the years to give the standing answer. _Megamind_ jotted down some notes as she answered. She glanced over, curious as to what he was writing and saw that he was writing something upside down and backwards. She realized that he was sending her another message that was right-side up to her, but making it look like natural writing from a distance. Here was another thing this overly-dramatic person was being subtle about.

When he was done, he idly tapped his pen against the notebook and _Roxanne_ quickly read the new message facing her. "Bots through roof. Two minutes. Laugh when leaving."

"And once you defeat Metro Man," there was that over-enunciation again, "what do you plan to do with Metro City?"

How in the world was she supposed to answer _that?_ She doubted that_ he_ knew what he would do if that ever happened. Oh well, they just had to stall for another minute or so. "That, Miss Ritchi, has yet to be seen. What is life without surprises, after all? Although the position of Evil Queen is still open…" she hated that she just said that, but she was playing a role and he _always_ offered her the position of 'Evil Queen' when talking about taking over the city.

She was taken aback by the look of intense sadness that momentarily crossed her own eyes as _Megamind_ replied with her standard refusal, "Ha! You wish, Megamind."

Before _Roxanne _could analyze that look in his eyes, there was a loud crash as the ceiling behind her suddenly developed a hole and dozens of brainbots quickly poured inside in a threatening spiral formation. Several broke out of formation and surrounded the guards and disarmed them before they could move. _Roxanne_ stood up quickly and smirked while the rest circled around her. A couple approached closer and bit right through the chains that bound her hands and feet. Suddenly, a few gripped her under her arms and lifted her off the ground while the rest provided cover. As she was being airlifted out the hole, she went ahead and gave an evil laugh since it would show she was cooperating.

She was quickly carried outside the gates and set down beside the road. A car door opened out of thin air next to her as the brainbots took to the sky.

"Quickly, Miss Ritchi," she heard Minion's voice from inside the invisible car. She hopped in and closed the door. Before she even had the door shut, Minion put the car in gear and took off.

"What about, Megamind?" she asked.

"I'm sure Sir will be interrogated about your escape. We'll lay low and pick him up when he's done," he answered.

"Ok," she replied. And then they just sat there in silence. She realized that this was her first time to be conscious in the invisible car and started studying the dash with all the custom dials and gizmos. "What's this switch do?" she finally asked to break the silence.

Minion was busy parking alongside the road. Once he parked, he turned in his bowl and replied a bit sheepishly, "I'm really not at liberty to discuss that, Miss Ritchi. Until we get everything sorted out, I think it'd be best if you'd try to rein in your natural curiosity. These are unusual circumstances, after all."

_Roxanne_ looked down at her currently blue hands and muttered, "Tell me about it…" She looked back at Minion and nearly pleaded, "He can fix this, right? Does he know what happened? He seemed surprised."

Minion fluttered his fins before replying, "Don't you worry, Miss Ritchi. We'll get this figured out in no time! Right now, we only know the arc flash from the electromagnet hit the escape teleporter, but we plan to view the footage this afternoon. Hopefully we'll see something that Sir missed in the excitement. And I can guarantee that this was never in _any_ of our evil plans."

"Good thing I have vacation saved up," she muttered then asked, "What did Megamind tell my boss this morning about me missing work? I need to know the cover story."

"Sir didn't contact anyone this morning," Minion replied.

"What?! But…. my job! And I… he…" she growled in frustration and continued with air quotes, "'Megamind' was in prison this morning! I can't even blame not coming in on an early-morning kidnapping. And I know my name will be leaked out because 'I' was here when 'Megamind' escaped! He needs to hurry up so we can do some damage control." She frowned as her stomach tightened and she thought of possible scenarios of why she wouldn't come in or call _and_ visit Megamind in prison.

"I'm sorry, Miss Ritchi," Minion apologized. "We've never held a... paying?... job before. We just didn't think of having to notify anyone about your absence."

She sighed and rubbed her temples. She still wasn't used to the unfamiliar bone structure under her fingers when she did that. "It's ok, Minion. I'll figure something out."

Out of morbid curiosity more than anything else, she flipped down the visor to look in the vanity mirror. She stared at the blue face staring back at her. This was the first time she had access to a mirror since they had switched. She brought a shaking hand up and touched her face. And everything suddenly felt real. Not the shock of seeing her own face staring at her or the unfamiliar hands and clothing held in front of her or even the massive embarrassment of using the bathroom with unfamiliar plumbing. No. It was looking at a face other than hers in a mirror that brought it all home. The face in the mirror scrunched itself up and the unnaturally green eyes started to shine as she willed herself not to start crying. Why did everything have to get so messed up?

Minion had been watching her curiously then jumped in with, "Oh no! Not you too, Miss Ritchi! We'll fix this!" He hesitantly placed a metallic hand on her shoulder. _Roxanne_ nodded and placed a hand over Minion's to thank him for his comfort. She put the visor back up so she wouldn't have to see anymore.

"It…it just hit me, you know?" she said softly. "Out of everything else, it was seeing a different face in the mirror…"

Minion gave her a smile, "Don't feel bad, Miss Ritchi. Sir had a break-down last night." A beeping sound started. "Ahh, speaking of which, looks like Sir is ready to be picked up. Can you move to the backseat? We need to stay invisible so I'll need to open the door for him." She nodded, turned around and crawled into the backseat.

Minion drove back around the prison and headed towards _Megamind_. Once Minion pulled up alongside him, Minion reached over and opened the door.

"Need a lift?" Minion asked her body in a playful tone that she had rarely heard before. _Megamind_ jumped in with a laugh and quickly closed the door as Minion took off.

"Minion! You…," he started excitedly, then glanced back at her and obviously changed what he was about to say, "should have seen the chaos once we got Miss Ritchi out of there. Not bad for a beginner's evil laugh, Miss Ritchi."

_Roxanne_ replied sarcastically, "Well, _I_ haven't practiced for hours in front of a mirror. Now can you fix this?" she demanded. Minion had picked up speed and began swerving in between cars in a rather nauseating manner. _Megamind_ turned and looked back out at the street and conveniently broke eye contact with her. Which was fine. Having a conversation with your face replying back to you was just bizarre.

"We haven't had a chance to examine all the variables yet," he started. "That being said, for all we know the effects are purely temporary. If we stay within a close proximity of each other, it's possible we could spontaneously switch back."

_Roxanne_ clutched her stomach as a sudden pain shot through it and sarcastically replied back, "Oh yeah. Because people who hang out together _always_ switch back and forth between bodies. Totally normal."

"If you must know, Miss Ritchi," he began in a huffy, offended sounding voice, "that is _not_ the basis for my hypothesis. This," he gestured to himself in her body, "is not the natural state of things. And our bodies always strive to maintain their natural state. If we stay close, it's possible that our bodies will recognize where we are _supposed_ to be and… Are you alright?" he had turned in his seat to look at her and interrupted himself. She opened her eyes that she didn't realize she had clenched shut and uncurled herself out of the ball she suddenly found herself in.

"Minion, I don't normally look that pale, do I?" he gestured towards _Roxanne_.

Minion glanced up in the rear-view mirror then looked back at the road before replying, "Oh no, Sir. You usually have a much healthier color about you."

_Roxanne_ interrupted, "I'm just getting car sick is all. Minion, could you slow down a hair?"

_Megamind_ looked at her thoughtfully, "Odd… I never have equilibrium problems… Miss Ritchi, just out of curiosity, what world-class quee-sine did you partake of in the city's finest lock-down facility?"

_Roxanne _moaned then replied, "They served some yellow rubber that might have been eggs at one point in time and some toast. There was sealed yogurt and orange juice, so I had those. They seemed the safest."

"Sir!" Minion exclaimed sharply in a panicked voice.

"They gave me _yogurt_?!" _Megamind_ yelled in shock, "They know better than that!"

Minion replied immediately, "Yes, but Sir, you know better than to _eat_ it! How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi? How long ago did you ingest the yogurt?"

She was watching the two aliens in the front seat freak out and it was making her uneasy. "I ate it about an hour and a half ago. I'm nauseous and getting kinda worried. Why are you two freaking out?"

_Megamind_ gave her a pitying look and replied, "There's something about yogurt that my body just can't handle. I'm afraid today is only going to get worse, Miss Ritchi."

"Wonderful," she muttered. "Because today has been awesome so far. Any _other_ allergies I should be aware of?"

_Megamind_ coughed and looked away for a minute, "Maybe a few…" he murmured. Then continued, "But don't worry! Minion is well aware of my dietary restrictions. He'll take good care of you, right Minion?"

"You bet, Miss Ritchi!" Minion enthused, then glanced at _Megamind_ and continued, "Uhh, Miss Ritchi, do you have any allergies we should be aware of?"

"Shellfish. I blow up like a balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and can die." She glared at _Megamind_ then, "And I swear to God, Megamind, if you die in my body I will find a way to bring you back and then kill you again."

_Megamind_ smirked at her, "Point taken, Miss Ritchi. Now eyes closed. We can't have you finding our Evil Lair."

"At least the bag won't fit…" _Roxanne _saidwhile bent over with her arms wrapped around her stomach. She was too busy attempting to not throw up to be worried about where they were driving. A few minutes later, she realized that they had pulled into a building somewhere just as the car came to a stop. She heard the two front doors open and close and then a muffled conversation before the door beside her opened.

"…liquids. Set it up in the bedroom."

"On it, Sir!" she heard Minion answer and start to walk away.

_Megamind_ reached his hand out to her and said, "Come on out, Miss Ritchi. Getting sick in the invisible car would be unpleasant for _all_ of us." She shot him a look but let him help her out of the car. She stumbled a bit as her stomach cramped again. _Megamind_ wrapped an arm around her back and in a surprisingly gentle gesture started leading her off to what must have been the living area of the lair. He asked her softly, "Toilet or bed?"

_Roxanne_ groaned with another cramp, "Toilet first. I think I need to worship the throne…" _Megamind_ nodded and continued to lead her to what she presumed was the bathroom with a frown of concentration on his face.

Finally he broke the silence, "I don't understand that colloquialism."

_Roxanne_ started to say something, then closed her mouth and snorted while trying not to laugh. _Megamind_ raised an eyebrow and looked at her. She shook her head, looked over at him and explained, "I was about to say that 'you'll get a better idea when you hold my hair back,' but I guess that's not really applicable at the moment." She reached a blue hand up and placed it on her currently bald head.

"Oh…" he looked away from her, "We _will_ fix this," he said determinedly. Then he turned dramatic, "After all, I'm putting all my incredible intellect towards this one goal! No one can stop me! Bwahahahaha!"

"Ok, no more evil laughing with my voice. That just sounds wrong. Give me a nudge next time and I'll do it for you," she said with a small smile at his disgruntled expression. She saw that the open door in front of her led to the bathroom, muttered a quick, "'Scuse me," and ran inside to the toilet.

The door didn't shut behind her and suddenly _Megamind_ understood her earlier metaphor.

To be continued…

**2nd AN: **Just FYI, I don't have anything against yogurt. It was just the first food I thought of that fit the circumstances I was looking for. And thanks for the reviews, everyone. They always make me smile.


	5. Beside Myself (Part 2)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

Ch 5 – Beside Myself (Part 2)

While _Roxanne_ was emptying the contents of her stomach in the hall bathroom, _Megamind_ filled a glass of water from the sink to give her when she was ready for it. He was trying not to let on, but he was _extremely_ worried. He had only had yogurt twice in his life, once when he was three and again when he was five. Both times he was extremely ill and the second time his heart actually stopped. If both he and Minion hadn't been in the prison infirmary at the time, he might have died. That was also when the warden and Dr. Palmer discovered that Minion could talk when he yelled for their help. From that day on, the warden made sure everyone knew not to serve him that foul substance.

He heard _Roxanne_ flush the toilet and handed her the glass of water he still held. She took it and rinsed out her mouth.

She got shakily to her feet and groaned, "I am _never_ eating yogurt again… Mouthwash?" _Megamind _pointed to the sink behind her and stayed close in case she collapsed or something.

When she finished cleaning up, he took her by the elbow and led her to his bedroom. He knew that this dairy dilemma had only just started and he wanted to get his body hooked up to monitors as soon as possible. If _Metro Moron_ couldn't keep him down, he would be damned if fermented milk would. They entered his bedroom and saw that Minion was already there. He had wheeled in the heart-monitor and the IV-stand along with the fluids _Megamind_ asked for.

"Miss Ritchi," _Megamind_ started, "Have a seat and let me get those cuffs off you. Afterwards you can change out of those itchy coveralls." He gestured towards a chair as he rummaged in a nearby drawer for a key to unlock the remains of the shackles she still wore. "Ah ha!" he exclaimed as he found the key and lifted it above his head triumphantly. Grinning he approached _Roxanne_, "Hands, please." He deftly unlocked the cuffs that still remained on her wrists and ankles from her prison visit. She immediately rubbed her wrists when the cuffs were removed.

_Megamind _informed her, "There are pajamas on the bed. You can lie down if you'd like. We'll be back in a few." He was glad Minion laid out his plain black PJs instead of the more comfortable, yet slightly embarrassing, hazard symbol ones. Those were probably in the laundry. _Megamind_ waved for Minion to follow him out of the room to give _Roxanne_ privacy to change.

"How's she doing, Sir?" Minion asked once the door was closed.

"I'm not entirely sure, Minion. She got sick on the way here, but hasn't complained about anything else bothering her. She _is_ unsteady on my feet though. _Why_ did one of the jokesters have to be on breakfast duty _today_?! What precautions do we have?"

"Well, Sir, I brought in the heart monitor and the defibrillator. I've also prepped a saline solution to keep her hydrated with the IV and have some steroid shots on hand in case your body goes critical. I also have some tranquilizers or the knock-out spray in case we decide that sleeping is the best thing for her heart-rate. Oh, Sir! If I could, I would be sweating bullets! I don't know that I'm prepared for this…" Minion had started wringing his metallic hands together in worry.

_Megamind_ placed one of his oddly pale hands on top of Minion's and the other against his dome and leaned in close. "Don't worry, Min-yon. You'll do fine! You've been patching me up for years! If you need to, go ahead and contact Dr. Palmer and see if you can find out exactly what happened last time. Feel free to threaten the prison's infrastructure if he gives you any lip."

Minion fluttered his gills in his version of taking a deep breath, "Thank you, Sir. I…I think we'll be fine with the equipment we have available. We may have to stock up on medical supplies once this situation blows over though."

"We'll do what's necessary, as always," _Megamind_ replied loftily then knocked on his door. "Miss Ritchi, we're coming in," he called. Hearing no answer, he pushed the door open. He saw his body curled up on his bed in the black pajamas. He motioned Minion towards the heart monitor and said, "Turn it on." He then crossed to his bed and saw that _Roxanne_ was still awake. "Awake I see," he teased. It was one of his lines he used sometimes during kidnappings.

_Roxanne_ groaned then said, "It's shtarting to hurt too much to think about sleep."

"Tsk, that's too bad," he told her with genuine sympathy. It may have been years ago since he was in this condition, but he remembered it well. Until his heart stopped, anyway. "Lay on your back," he commanded her. She just shook her head. "Miss Ritchi," he started in an irritated tone, "you have requested that I not die in your body and I would ask that you return the favor. Lay on your back so we can attach the heart monitor."

"Die? From yogurt?" she asked a little incredulously.

"You have stated that it's a possibility when you eat shellfish. I fail to see what the difference is in this situate-shion," he stated.

"I would have to eat a ton of it for that to happen! I only had one small container of yogurt!" she protested.

"Then I guess I am more allergy-ic to yogurt than you are to shellfish. Congratulations. You win. Now, straighten up and allow us to attach the heart monitor," he said in exasperation. She frowned up at him, but she did turn over to lie on her back. Unthinkingly, he reached for the pajama top to unbutton it but _Roxanne_ slapped his hand away then covered her upper chest with her arms while glowering at him.

"Oh for evil heaven's sake! What now?" he groused.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she asked with indignation.

"I _think_ I'm opening that shirt so we can attach the electrodes to the proper areas. What are _you_ doing?" he snapped back.

"I'm stopping you from being inappropriate!"

"Inapprue-pirate?! That's _my_ body you currently inhabit, Miss Ritchi. I _think_ I've seen it before. Now let's get these attached, or do I need Minion to get the knock-out spray?" she was still glowering at him and he crossed his arms to challengingly stare down at her.

"Uh, Sir? Miss Ritchi?" Minion interrupted. "I can attach them without her removing her shirt if you'll allow me, Miss Ritchi. I'll be totally professional about it. Honest." He raised his hands in supplication. _Megamind_ was giving them both dirty looks. This situation was just ridiculous. _She's_ being stubborn and Minion is just enabling her.

_Roxanne_ glared at _Megamind_ again for good measure then replied to Minion, "I guess so Minion. And _thank you_," she shot _Megamind_ another glare before continuing, "for being _considerate_ of my person."

"Oh for the love of science!" _Megamind_ threw his hands in the air dramatically and stomped away to the other side of the room and resolutely kept his back turned. He heard _Roxanne_ gasp and mutter about Minion's hands being cold. Well what did she expect from a metal suit?

When he finally heard the heart monitor respond, he rushed over to it to check her vitals. Thankfully everything looked normal compared to his baseline readings. He gave a sigh of relief. He strapped the remote monitoring and communication device to his wrist and turned to Minion.

"Minion, I'm going to collect the cameras from," he flicked his eyes to _Roxanne_, "yesterday's site. Keep an eye on Miss Ritchi and keep her hydrated. Contact me if her condition changes." He held up his wrist and showed Minion the device he strapped on to let him know how to contact him.

"Right, Boss," Minion agreed and _Megamind_ started heading for the door.

"Wait. Megamind," he heard his own voice call.

He stopped and turned towards the bed, "Yes, Miss Ritchi?"

_Roxanne_ had propped herself up on an elbow, but the expressive blue face she was borrowing was scrunched up in pain. "You need to call my boss. I should have been at work _hours_ ago."

He frowned as he replied, "What on Earth for?"

"Because," she said in that exaggerated way of hers, "people with _normal_ jobs are held accountable for their time. If they have to miss a day unexpectedly, they have to call to let someone know. I can usually slide with 'Oh, I was kidnapped,' because _somehow_ that's become part of my job expectations. But 'you' were in prison this morning and 'I' visited you. So now we have to come up with something plausible so I don't get fired."

"Miss Ritchi, I highly doubt that KMCP will fire their star reporter," he started in a slightly condescending voice but then thought about something she mentioned. "Wait… Have you _faked_ a kidnapping to get out of work?!" he asked incredulously. A purple tint darkened her cheeks as she looked away from him. "You have!" he gasped and pointed at her.

"I…I needed a day off!" she started defiantly, but then continued sheepishly, "And I needed to go shopping…" blushing even more when she confessed.

_Megamind_ couldn't help but laugh at the fact that she could be so deliciously devious. Then he trailed off and looked down at his currently normal-colored hands as he thought about her excuses. _He_ could go shopping. And no one would stare or laugh or scream or throw things or try to arrest him…

"Minion…" he said reverently while still staring at his borrowed hands and thoroughly forgetting about _Roxanne_ being in the same room. He swallowed and tried again, "Minion, you've always wanted to try Chinese food, right? I…I can… pick some up… I look human…"

"Oh! Oh, Sir! Could you?" Minion looked overjoyed at just the thought. They had several recipes, but the fish had never had a baseline for what the food was _supposed_ to taste like. He had been complaining about that very thing nearly a month ago. Complete with an uncharacteristic fit of frustration that ended with a thrown cook book.

_Megamind_ felt a smile playing about his lips when a voice broke into their little bubble of joy, "You've never had Chinese?"

When he registered what she said, he schooled his face into a look of indifference and replied haughtily, "We are much too busy to worry about what worldly regions our food originates."

He was thoroughly embarrassed about what she just witnessed. _Roxanne_ didn't need to know that neither he nor Minion had ever picked up food from a restaurant. They couldn't exactly wait in line, even _before_ he started gaining notoriety as a supervillain. And you couldn't exactly hold them up to cook dinner for you. The cops would be there before the food was done, not to mention it was incredibly crass and beneath the actions of a supervillain. The best they could do was to pick up something in a drive-thru, and even that involved drawing the De-gun more often than not. He and Minion had always made do with what they could fix for themselves (ok…mostly Minion) once they broke out of prison and never really questioned it.

_Megamind_ saw Minion's face drop with disappointment at the presumed lost opportunity. _Megamind_ caught his eye and gave him a wide smile and a wink to let him know that they _would_ be having authentic, restaurant-style Americanized Chinese food that evening. He schooled his face again and looked at _Roxanne_ who was starting to curl up in a ball.

"So, Miss Ritchi, what shall I tell your boss? And how can I contact him?"

"I don't know," she moaned with pain. A moment later she said, "Tell him I'm sick so I'm not coming in for a few days. We should be fixed by then, right?"

"Of course, Miss Ritchi. It's Mr. Lershon, right?" he asked as he remembered what the annoying man at her apartment the day before had said.

"Lawson. And call him Dan. Don't answer any questions. He's another 'nosy reporter.' Do you have my purse? My cell phone should be in there."

"Minion, the purse is in the car. And grab some petty cash. I need to pay Miss Ritchi back for the cab I took yesterday."

"Yes, Sir!" Minion left the room still excited about their lunch.

_Megamind_ turned towards the bed and asked, "How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi? Still nauseous? Are you having any problems breathing?"

_Roxanne_ groaned while still holding her stomach and answered, "My stomach feels like it's eating itself, and yes I'm _still_ nauseous. Breathing seems fine."

"Heart rate's normal," he muttered to himself after checking the monitoring station. "Well, Miss Ritchi, so far so good. We can hope that my immune system is better now than when I was a child. Also, proportionate to my current body weight and the amount of yogurt ingested, the ratio is less than the last time I ate it. I think I _will_ have Minion call Dr. Palmer though. It's possible I don't remember the sequence of events correctly…" he trailed off in thought. Then he stated, "You need fluids. Think you can keep something down, or do you want an IV?"

_Roxanne _uncurled herself slightly and sat up, "I'll try to keep something down."

_Megamind _handed her a sports drink that Minion had brought in earlier. He couldn't help but notice she was giving him a scrutinizing look as he did so. He needed to get this situation fixed quickly. She was too talented at digging up details, and having her stay here was giving her too many opportunities to learn stuff that wasn't any of her business. Until she agreed to become his Evil Queen, anyway…

"The electrolytes should help with the dehydration," he told her. "There is a trash can by the bed if you can't make it to the bathroom," he pointed in the direction of the bathroom that connected to his bedroom. "Minion will stay with you while I'm out. Get some sleep, that might help. And, Miss Ritchi, _try_ to keep that insatiable curiosity of yours in check," he shot her a look.

_Roxanne_ took the plastic bottle from her mouth and waved a hand dismissively, "Yeah, yeah." She gave him that examining look again and said quietly, "You know, most of them deliver… You can just meet them in a parking lot." His eyes widened slightly. They do? Since when? And why wasn't that advertized anywhere? They could use the Pizza Protocol. The door opened before he said anything to dig himself into a deeper hole and Minion entered.

"Here ya go, Sir," the excited fish said as he handed over Roxanne's purse and a stack of cash. _Megamind_ grinned at him and opened the purse to find the cell phone.

"Ahem," _Roxanne_ said. "Hand it over, Spaceman." He huffed and shoved the purse at her.

"I don't see what the big deal is," he grumbled.

"It's personal," she said absently as she pulled the phone from inside its depths. She flipped it open and muttered something about voicemails. She closed it and looked at him directly, "Ok, let's hear your sick voice."

"My wha…?" he asked in confusion.

"You're calling in sick. Let's hear it," she commanded.

"Um…hi, it's Roxanne. I'm too sick to go to work today," he said without changing his borrowed voice.

"No, no, no. They'll never believe you like that. Deepen the voice a bit and only breathe through the mouth. Try to make the voice crack some."

"Call in fake-sick often, Miss Ritchi? Do you switch out with the fake-kidnappings?" he asked, genuinely curious.

She blushed slightly and said, "Just try it again." He practiced a few more times with _Roxanne_ giving him pointers until she was happy with his performance. He was enjoying himself too. Here he was, talking to Roxanne without her being excessively antagonizing and he wasn't busy trying to impress her with his newest destructive devices. Even though the circumstances weren't the greatest, he was still spending time with her.

Eventually she declared him ready. Well… declared him good enough to fool her boss anyway, and handed him the phone. He pressed a few buttons and found 'Dan' listed in her contacts. He took a deep breath and called.

"Dan Lawson," a voice answered absently.

"Dan, this is Roxanne," _Megamind_ started, using the voice he'd been coached to use and the script he'd been told to follow.

"Roxanne! Where the hell are you?! Were you really at the prison?"

"Uh…I…" he wasn't really expecting to be interrupted. "I mean, look, I was sick this morning and slept in. I forgot to call. Then I thought to interview Megamind for that piece we talked about. He escaped in the middle and they just finished questioning me. Don, I think I pushed myself too much and I'm going back home. I'll be out for the next couple days too until I shake this illness."

"Roxie, we need you here," the man pleaded.

"Don, I look and sound terrible. I'm not going on camera like this, and I'm not going to infect half the building to sit at a desk and feel awful. I'm not coming in." _Megamind_ saw _Roxanne_ mouth the words 'hang up' and was giving an accompanying hand gesture. He closed the phone without saying anything else, and raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"Well, besides you starting to call him 'Don' halfway through, it was passable. Now shoo, I think I'm gonna try to take a nap."

"Dan. Don. Same thing," he waved dismissively as he excited the room waving Minion with him. Once they were both in the hallway, Minion handed him some papers.

"Menus," he said. "I just printed them. That's what took me so long to get back."

"Perfect, Minion! Want to get one of everything? That should let us get a taste of the Orient!"

"Just remember your current shellfish allergy, Sir," Minion warned.

"That's right…" he had almost forgotten about that. "But we still need to get some shrimp for you! Oh, and Miss Ritchi informed me that some of these places deliver."

Minion's eyes widened. "They do?! We can use the Pizza Protocol!"

"Precisely!" _Megamind_ agreed enthusiastically as he flipped open Roxanne's phone and called one of the restaurants. When a heavily accented voice answered, he switched to Mandarin to place their order. It wasn't often that he was able to use one of the many of the languages he knew, so he always jumped at the opportunity. When he finished, he gave Minion what felt like a manic smile and tossed him the cell phone. "I'm off! Prep the viewing station while I'm gone and have the brainbots reporter-proof the lair so Miss Ritchi can't poke around. And call Dr. Palmer while I'm out. Find out everything he knows about the past yogurt incidents."

"I'm on it, Sir! Good luck!" Minion gave a toothy grin before heading back into the bedroom.


	6. Deep in the Hole

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

Ch 6 – Deep in the Hole

_Roxanne_ lay back on the bed after _Megamind_ and Minion left the room. They had successfully lied to her boss, even though she really is sick. Her stomach roiled then just to remind her.

She could hear her two kidnappers talking excitedly right outside the door. They were probably still thinking about take-out. She had never really thought about how difficult their personal lives must be when they weren't being 'the supervillain and his henchfish.' It really brought it home when _Megamind_ dropped their conversation like he had been hit in the head and told Minion he could pick up some food because he looked human. Granted, that's no reason to continually kidnap her, cause city-wide destruction, or try to 'destroy Metro Man,' but still…

She rolled over so she was closer to the garbage can in case she needed it. As she was getting comfortable, she heard her voice talking animatedly outside the door. It took a minute before she realized he was talking in a different language. Was he ordering Chinese food in Chinese? What a show-off! How was she supposed to get comfortable with all these sensors on her chest? And why did they insist on them anyway? _Megamind_ mentioned something about dying, was there any truth to that possibility?

The door opened and Minion, her current chaperone, entered. She kept her eyes closed because she really did want to fall asleep, even though she still wasn't tired. Exhausted, but not tired. How was that possible? Seriously! What was up with these non-existent sleep cycles? She slowly exhaled and attempted to blank her mind so she could sleep.

Exactly thirty-two minutes later she heard familiar beeping noises and even a muttered curse from Minion about small buttons.

"Warden, I need to speak with Dr. Palmer," Minion's voice broke the silence. "Yes, it's me," he continued. Roxanne kept her eyes closed, but eagerly listened to his half of the conversation.

"Because one of your guards gave Sir yogurt this morning," Minion actually snapped into the phone.

"Yes. Yogurt."

"The last explosion left him a little rattled. He wasn't thinking clearly.

"Yes. Now can you transfer me to the infirmary? I _am_ under orders to threaten you with additional destruction next time if I don't speak with him."

"Thanks." There was silence for a moment then, "Dr. Palmer?"

"Sir ate some yogurt this morning in his cell-"

"Yes, I know," Minion said angrily. _Roxanne_ had never heard him angry before. "I'd put my money on Frankie, but I don't have any proof."

"Check the cameras. Let's not pretend that Sir's cell isn't heavily monitored."

"Doc, I don't have time to get into that right now. You know my opinion. I need to know the details of both prior yogurt incidents."

"Well obviously," _Roxanne_ could practically hear his eyes roll. "That's why we want specifics."

"Yes, that's happening now."

"Ok, I remember that. What should I look for?"

"No, just his heart."

"Yes, it's nearby, just in case."

"I have some specially-made rubber gloves. No worries!"

"No… Is there some alternative method I can use?"

"Yes, we can do that. So that's why his heart stopped last time?" Her eyes flew open. Megamind's heart stopped?

"Oh yes! Plenty of those. Ok, anything else to check?"

"Thanks, Doc! Just let Sir know what your infirmary needs the next time you see him. We'll make it happen!"

"Yes, legally. I need to go, Doc. Thanks again!" Roxanne heard her phone close. She was about to rise up and question him when he started talking again.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Minion," she heard her own voice reply. He must be on a speaker phone.

"I just spoke with Doc. He said to check your oh-two levels. They got too low last time."

"So, _that's_ what happened…" she heard him muse. "Go ahead and run the blood-work, Minion. The results should be off when I get back."

"Yes, Sir."

She heard Minion start to move around so she sat up. "So he was serious…" she thought out loud and heard Minion gasp.

"Oh, Miss Ritchi! You startled me, I thought you were asleep."

"No," she confessed, "I just can't seem to drop off. I guess I see why you two were freaking out about the yogurt. So you need to do blood-work?"

"I'm afraid so. I was just heading to grab the supplies. Do you need anything?" Minion asked solicitously. She shook her head. "Ok, I'll be right back. Don't wonder off."

She waited until he left, then quickly made it to the bathroom and hovered over the toilet for a while. Good thing the heart monitor had long enough wires to let her move around. Her stomach was still upset, but her mind went to work analyzing the phone call she just overheard and what Megamind and Minion told her. Apparently that 'something in the yogurt' that disagrees with Megamind's body blocks his ability to absorb oxygen into his blood stream. The doctor would have missed what's usually the most obvious sign… the patient turning blue… because of his natural skin color. The blood couldn't carry oxygen to the brain, which would eventually shut the body down. All from a single serving of yogurt.

She ended up getting sick again, and was glad that Minion wasn't in the room. She flushed and rested her head on her arms. Maybe he would use the knock-out spray on her if she asked nicely. She thought that sleep sounded _really_ good right about now.

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

"Min-yon! I'm back!" _Megamind_ called as he exited the invisible car. He pulled out a bag that he stashed his cameras in and a bag filled with take-out boxes. He saw Minion approaching from their living area, and smiled. "It smells delightful," he informed his friend. "You have the viewing station ready?"

"Yes, Sir," Minion replied as he took a bag from _Megamind_ and started walking beside him.

"How's Miss Ritchi faring?"

"Pretty well, considering. She's thrown up a couple times since you've been gone but her heart rate is still normal. Her blood-oxygen levels were a little low, so I hooked up an air mask for her and put her to sleep. That was her idea, actually. She just wanted to sleep through it." Minion updated him.

"Ahh good work, Minion," Megamind told him. "We can review the recordings after lunch. The dinners are clearly labeled."

They settled down in the dining area and spread out the food. Minion had his cook books nearby to take notes. _Megamind_ noticed that Minion moved the couple of dishes that contained shrimp closer to his side of the table to prevent _Megamind_ from eating any. They proceeded to eat a little of each dish and discussed it with each other like they normally did during brainstorming sessions with Minion taking notes. _Megamind_ grinned on the inside as he realized that he was helping his fishy friend with research instead of the other way around.

When they finished, they packed the leftovers into the refrigerator and moved to the viewing monitors. _Megamind_ noticed that lots of his larger works in progress were covered with tarps or sheets and his idea cloud was gone with only a few red strings remaining. Hopefully the brainbots would be able to put it all back to normal when Roxanne was gone. Most of his chalkboards and bulletin boards were also gone. The ones that were left were blank. In passing, he also noticed that his planning desk had been cleared off except for the plans of the inventions he was using yesterday.

Minion started setting everything up, so _Megamind_ went to go check on _Roxanne_. To his surprise he found her sitting up in the bed.

"Oh, you're awake," he stated the obvious as a conversation starter.

"Yeah. Do you, like, _never_ sleep? I feel like I'm in college again, but without the sleep deprivation side-effects. Or the drinking."

"Ee-vil never sleeps, Miss Ritchi," he teased without giving away information. "How are you feeling?" he attempted to sidestep any more personal questions as he made his way to the heart monitor.

"Better, I guess. Still a little under the weather, but the oxygen Minion gave me helped. Do a lot of scuba-ing?" she asked suddenly.

Surprised, he looked at her. Did she really need that answered? Seeing the questioning look on her face, he decided to spell it out for her, "Minion's a _fish_, Miss Ritchi."

"Oh," she replied blankly. Then comprehension dawned, "_Ooh_. That makes sense…"

_Megamind_ checked the history on the heart monitor and saw that everything was still reading normal. He would have to see about acquiring one of those finger devices that detects the blood-oxygen levels in case this situation arises again. Analyzing blood samples takes significantly longer than an instant readout.

"Where do you go shwimming? The lake?" _Roxanne_ interrupted his train of thought.

"Ah, ah, Miss Ritchi," he admonished with a finger wave, "Your curiosity is peaking through."

She gave a frustrated sigh, "I don't see how telling me about your shwimming hole is revealing vital information. And why do I keep doing that? Since when do you have a lisp?"

"I _do not_ have a lisp! And maybe because I don't want dozens of reporters hovering around my 'swimming hole,' as you so quant-ly put it, the next time we decide to take a day off," he told her.

"I thought 'ee-vil never sleeps,'" she prodded.

"That doesn't mean ee-vil can't take a day off!" he almost snapped. Then he threw in, "Miss Sick-Faker."

"Oh, please," she said dismissively. "Everyone does that every now and then."

"Exactly my point!" he pointed at her triumphantly. He started heading for the door. Minion should be ready for him by now. "Get some rest, Miss Ritchi."

"I _am _rested, and I'm feeling better. Where are you going? Have you viewed yesterday's footage yet? I want to see." _Roxanne_ rambled.

Looks like she also hates to sit still. Understanding completely how cooped up she was feeling he said, "Minion should be finished setting up the equipment. Remove those electrodes and come watch it with us. Maybe your nosy reporter skills will notice something."

He turned his back to let her pull off the wires in semi-privacy. The idea was still ludicrous. It was _his_ body after all. If anything, _he_ should be embarrassed. She had changed twice after all and would have to have seen his body. And it's been almost a full day now and she had surely had to relieve herself at some point. He felt heat creeping up his cheeks as he actually _thought_ about the personal ramifications of her being in his body. She had seen all of him…

He jumped as the remote monitor he still wore on his wrist alarmed. He quickly glanced at it and saw it was flat-lining. "Miss Ritchi, you still ok?" he asked as he silenced the alarm. She _was_ removing herself from the wires after all.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm ready. What was that noise?" she asked as she approached him.

"Nothing to worry about. Let's get going," he replied and headed for the door. He heard her following him as he made his way through the now empty-seeming Evil Lair. It just didn't look right without all his plans and parts spread out everywhere. He made the way to his monitor bank and saw Minion waiting for him.

"Sir, I've got everything set up. Oh, hello, Miss Ritchi. Feeling better?" Minion greeted the two of them.

"Yes, thank you, Minion," _Roxanne_ replied as she found a seat.

_Megamind_ sat in his high-backed chair, "Ok, start her up, Minion," he commanded.

"Sure thing, Boss!" Minion replied as he hit a button on a remote.

They settled down and watched the video recordings from the day before. _Megamind_ pointed out when he and Roxanne body-switched for Minion and they analyzed what they could. There wasn't any additional flash of light or anything that signaled that something had happened. Just one moment, he was yelling while in his body and the next, he was yelling while in Roxanne's. They tried a different camera angle and that's when _Roxanne _spotted it. When the arc of electricity hit the escape teleporter, the indicator light changed from red to green then back to red.

_Megamind_ paused the screen with a thoughtful look on his face, "That's it… The Emergency Matter Transference Machine activated… It didn't teleport anything! It _transferred_ our minds into each other. Maybe that's why I couldn't get it to work earlier. We only had one thing in the activation range, and most of the time it was an inanimate object. What do you think the voltage was on that electrical strike, Minion?"

"I'm not sure, Sir. I would guess that it would be about two thirds of the electromagnet's capacity though. You can see where smaller arcs also discharged at the same time when it was destroyed," he pointed at the paused screen to illustrate his point.

"Unfortunately, the machine is in pieces thanks to our destruction-happy nemesis. Always breaking my stuff…" _Megamind_ sighed. "Send the brainbots to pick up the pieces when it gets dark. We'll have to rebuild."

He walked over to his desk. Today, he was thinking clearly and he was determined that he wasn't going to panic again. Especially since _Roxanne_ was busy watching him. He found the blue print that had set off his panic attack the night before and brought it back to his chair. He took a steadying breath and looked at it. And just like the previous night, he got lost in the midst of his calculations. Wordlessly he handed the sheet to Minion. Minion took it, but raised his eyebrow in a silent question. He stayed silent though and looked away. It took all his willpower not to cross his arms and pout.

Minion understood the non-verbal cues though and covered for him, "Right! Yes, Sir! I will begin gathering the parts immediately and will send the brainbots out tonight." Minion left to start gathering parts.

"Ok, so you have to rebuild that thing. Then what?" _Roxanne_ asked him.

He mentally shook himself. The last thing he needed was for her to suspect that something was wrong. Well, besides the obvious. "Simple, Miss Ritchi. We duplicate the voltage that was applied and activate the Matter Transference Machine with ourselves in range. And probably in the same positions as before, just in case."

"What? You're not going to test it first?" she asked in a slightly high pitched tone of voice.

"What would you suggest we test it on?" he challenged.

"I don't know. A couple of mice?" she suggested.

"Even if they were self-aware, which I'm not entirely sure they _are_, how would _we_ be aware that they have switched bodies? There were no physical indicators when we did besides our own reactions."

She stared at him blankly then sighed. "Ok, the ball's in your court. We'll do it your way, Mr. Mad-Scientist. How long is rebuilding it going to take?"

"We have the plans already and whatever parts we can salvage. It shouldn't take very long at all," he fibbed. He had _no idea_ how long it would take, or if it was even possible since he couldn't understand all of the plans. "I should go help Minion get the workshop ready." He really wanted to get away from her for a minute to talk to Minion privately. He wasn't used to having guests so had no idea how to keep her occupied while he snuck away. "We have movies? And books?" he suggested.

"I'll come with you. Maybe I can help," _Roxanne_ said instead.

"I…uh…I need to make sure the workshop is reporter-proof first," he thought quickly, "We wouldn't want you to catch a glimpse of the next glorious plan! What's the fun in that?"

"Fun," she repeated in a flat voice.

"Yes, exactly! So, TV remote," he pushed said item towards her, "And I'll be back in fifteen minutes." He quickly looked around and decided that there wasn't anything nearby she could do any decent snooping into and ran to find Minion.

Sure enough, he came upon Minion in the workshop area. Minion had already 'reporter-proofed' the area, so it was safe enough for _Roxanne_ to enter. Minion was looking over the plans and making his own list.

_Megamind _slumped and walked slowly over to Minion. "We…we'll have to find something else," he said in a depressed tone of voice. He waved in the general direction of the blue prints that Minion was studying and continued, "It still doesn't make sense…" he whispered.

Minion straightened up when he heard _Megamind_ next to him. He was used to building and designing things he didn't fully understand, it was part of his job description after all. It's not that he wasn't extremely intelligent, he just wasn't anywhere near his friend's level. "Sir, we have all the plans here. We just have to follow them. You've already designed and built it once you know."

_Megamind_ looked up with a hopeful look slowly crossing his face, "You think so?" he asked desperately.

"Sir, I _know_ so. We just have to build it like the plans and notes specify and that's that. Honestly, Sir, sometimes I just barely grasp some of your inventions, but I can build them anyway with the plans you provide."

_Megamind_ felt his spirits lifting, which he was sure was what Minion had intended. "Thanks, Filet Mignon."

"Anytime, Sir," Minion gave him a toothy smile and went back to work.


	7. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

**AN:** A special thanks to my friend Annette who allowed me to borrow her business's name (and her own) for a part of this chapter and the next. If you're in Michigan, you should look her up!

Ch 7 – Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

_Roxanne_ looked down at the TV remote that she was suddenly holding then watched as _Megamind_ ran out of the room. He sure was acting nervous all of a sudden. She wondered what he had in his 'workshop' that he didn't want her to see. She tossed the remote control into his chair and started to wonder around. It wasn't _her_ fault that they left her here unattended. She still wasn't feeling all that well, but she wasn't about to pass up an opportunity for old-fashioned snooping.

She walked away from the monitors and towards a long table set against a wall. There were ink stains and burn marks all along it and a couple wads of paper that hadn't been cleaned up. This area must have been 'reporter-proofed' already. She picked up a wad of paper and uncrumpled it. Instead of sinister plans or a complex chemical formula, or even just doodling, she found a grocery list.

She sighed in disappointment and crumpled the paper up again. As she threw it back towards the table a brainbot swooped in from above and caught it in its bear-trap jaws. The suddenness of it made her jump a bit. The brainbot turned towards her and dropped the wadded up ball of paper in front of her. When she didn't move, it tilted its eyestalk a little towards the side while still watching her.

"You… you want to play?" she asked it cautiously and feeling a little silly at the same time.

"Bowg, bowg!" the thing replied and bobbed up and down a little. She slowly reached for the paper ball, afraid to make any sudden movements. The brainbot just watched her. She threw the piece of paper and it swooped to catch it again. This time a second brainbot dropped down and distracted the first from its game. They both flew back up to the ceiling.

_Roxanne_ watched them as they rose, then she felt her eyes widen as she saw what was above her. She saw hundreds of softly glowing brainbots just idly floating around the ceiling. She had never imagined that Megamind had so many of the things. She probably shouldn't be surprised since he was seen with them more and more often recently.

She started poking around again, knowing that she only had about nine minutes until _Megamind_ said he would be back for her. She hurried to a tarp that was obviously covering something and peeked underneath. And it was merely an internal combustion engine from some car or other. Nothing exciting or diabolical to see here. She dropped the tarp and headed for the next covered bundle. This one had an interesting cylindrical shape to it. She was interrupted just as her hand grabbed the bottom edge.

"Looking for something, Miss Ritchi?" _Megamind _asked. She straightened up quickly which had the side effect of making her dizzy. Maybe she needed more oxygen?

"Umm… no?" she lied.

"Well, _clearly_ I can't leave you unsupervised. Come on, the workshop has been reporter-proofed."

"You're too kind," she muttered sarcastically as she headed towards him. "Wait a sec," she told him as she caught up. He turned and looked at her questioningly. She reached out to smooth down the hair on his borrowed head and noticed that he flinched and drew back when her hand got close.

"Stop that," she snapped and reached for his hair again. This time he stayed still but was eyeing her warily. She smoothed the hair out until it looked half-way presentable. "There. That's been bothering me all day," she explained.

He stepped back from her and replied sounding a bit put out, "If you're quite done attempting to _groom_ me, Minion's waiting on us." He turned and started walking to the workshop area he just left.

Interesting. He doesn't mind invading her personal space, but he gets edgy when someone invades _his_. She filed that away in case she was presented an opportunity to use it someday.

She suddenly grinned mischievously. Why wait for 'someday?' She hurried and caught up with him then proceeded to walk along with him while being just inside his comfort zone. She could tell that she was getting to him because he would attempt to step away or increase his pace. She just matched his movements and attempted to hold an innocent look on her face when he would shoot her a look.

When they made it the short distance to the workshop, _Megamind_ hurried over to the bench that Minion was working at. _Roxanne_ was starting to feel worse and dizzy again, so she sat down in a chair near the door. She was already sitting with her head resting in her hands before she realized that it was 'her' kidnapping chair. Figures. She lifted her head to tell the guys that they might want to check her oxygen levels again, but before she opened her mouth darkness closed in around her.

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

Roxanne started to wake up, but decided it was too early without even opening her eyes. She rolled over to get a little more comfortable. When she did, she felt her bangs fall onto her eyes so she reached up to move them out of the way before she settled down to try to sleep some more.

Something about that didn't seem right, and yet it did at the same time.

She frowned as she thought about it and realized that she was getting further from the possibility of falling back asleep as her mind woke up. She sighed as she gave up trying to drift off and opened her eyes to a darkened room. As she was getting her bearings, she recalled what had happened in the last couple days and sighed again as she sat up. Apparently Megamind decided that _he_ wanted the bed and deposited her on an air mattress in the same room. Of all the petty, inconsiderate… And wasn't _she_ the one who was sick!

She stood up and marched to the bed to give him a piece of her mind. When she got close enough to see, all the anger drained out of her.

"Megamind?" she asked disbelievingly towards the huge-headed blue alien lying in the bed hooked up to an IV and that heart monitor. She looked at her hands and saw that they really _were_ her hands. She reached out and shook his shoulder. "Megamind," she said more firmly.

His eyes fluttered open and he looked at her blearily, "Miss Ritchi, what are you-" then his eyes widened and became alert in an instant as he sat up quickly, "Miss Ritchi?!" He stuck his hands out in front of himself to check that it was really him.

"What happened? How did we switch back?" Roxanne asked anxiously.

He answered, "It appears my hypothesis was correct. We needed to be in close proximity and in a relaxed state. Odd… I really considered that a long shot…"

He gasped as a thought obviously crossed his mind and he quickly pulled out the IV and bolted out of bed. As he did so, the electrodes that were connected to his chest ripped off and the machine started alarming. Megamind didn't seem to pay it any attention as he threw open the door and raced down the hall. Roxanne quickly followed wondering what was so important that he would have to run off. She followed him to the workshop where she found him pouring over a blue print with a relieved smile.

"Brainbots!" he suddenly commanded, and was just as quickly surrounded by a swarm of the floating machines. "Bring me my blue prints!" The brainbots quickly flew off.

"What do you need blue prints for?" she asked

"For inventions, Miss Ritchi! Inventions!" he said joyously with a laugh, while still not explaining anything.

"But-" she started, but was interrupted as Minion hurried into the room.

"Sir! Miss Ritchi! What are you doing in here? Miss Ritchi, you should be in bed," the worried looking fish scolded. She was guessing that he was monitoring that heart machine and freaked out when it flat-lined after Megamind removed the sensors.

Before she could say anything in her defense Megamind crowed, "I'm me again, Min-yon!" About then the brainbots started showering him with blue print paper. He snatched one up and let his eyes roam over it. He grinned then grabbed another one. She was definitely missing something here.

"That's great news, Sir! Now _you_ should be in bed. You're still not fully recovered from that yogurt Miss Ritchi ate." Minion turned towards her then, "Miss Ritchi, I can take you home after I convince Sir to get settled into bed."

"Thanks, Minion," she replied while still watching Megamind. He was acting like a kid in a candy store.

"Come along, Sir. The bots will bring these to you in bed. And they'll bring in the drafting supplies for any new ideas," Minion coaxed.

Megamind finally seemed to notice what was happening around him and calmed slightly, "Yes, you're… not wrong. Let's get me monitored and Miss Ritchi back to her daily grind." He grabbed up several of the prints that he hadn't reviewed yet and headed towards Roxanne. When he got close he stopped and said, "Miss Ritchi, I trust you will be discreet about this incident and anything you discovered during our recovery."

"Megamind, no one would believe me if I told them the truth. Even _I_ find it hard to believe and I was part of it!"

"Excellent," he replied crisply and she could see a wall come up that she hadn't even realized that had been lowered a little. She mentally cursed at her inattentiveness and the lost opportunity. "Ciao, Miss Ritchi! Until we meet again!" he started walking back to his room and threw her a little wave over his shoulder.

"Any clue as to when that might be?" she called after him.

"And ruin the surprise? I think not. Minion?"

"Yes, Sir. Miss Ritchi, if you'd please?" Minion gestured out the door and in the direction of the car. Roxanne started walking towards the car as she was being escorted out.

"He sure is trying to get rid of me awful fast. It's still dark out!" she complained as they walked to the car.

"Well, Sir hates people to see him when he's not at his best, you know," Minion explained conversationally.

"I've _been_ him when he's not his best," she groused.

"Yes, and _thank_ _you_ for cooperating! You're a much better patient than Sir has ever been," Minion said. "It makes my job _much_ easier." They got into the car and Minion handed her a blindfold. She sighed and put it on. Then she felt Minion adjust it to make sure she couldn't see.

"So, what exactly _is_ your job, Minion?" she asked curiously. She had always thought of him as, well, as a minion. But she thought she had seen something else during her experience at the Evil Lair.

"Oh, you know…" Minion said slightly embarrassed, "I look after Sir and help where I can."

"I bet that can be a full time job," she led him, hoping to get the chatty fish to start talking. She was feeling much better now and her reporter instincts were begging her to come up with something, even if it was just for her own info.

"Oh, it _is_!" Minion enthused, happy to have someone to talk to, "You would not _believe_ how many times I have to remind Sir to _eat_ much less anything else. And do you know we started out by sharing the cooking chore? After the fifth time he served an unopened can of fruit cocktail and declared it dinner, I decided to take over that task completely. But to hear him tell it, we still split the cooking 80-20." Minion chuckled a little.

"Does he take credit for your work often?"

"Oh no, Miss Ritchi. We're a team! So credit and blame are shared. We just specialize in different areas is all," he explained.

"Oh? And what do you specialize in, Minion?" It was too bad she didn't have a camera rolling; this was turning out to be a good interview. Maybe she should try to get Minion to talk more often during kidnappings.

"Well, cooking, like I mentioned. I also take care of any medical issues. I design and make Sir's clothes. I assist in the building and maintenance of Sir's inventions and transportation. I'm pretty good on the computer and I organize most of the escapes from prison. And then whatever else Sir needs help with," he said proudly.

"Goodness, Minion. I think you specialize in more things than I know how to do," she told him, slightly in awe that he did so much.

"Oh, don't sell yourself short, Miss Ritchi," he encouraged. She smiled in his direction and then felt the car slowing down. "And we're at your apartment building." She removed the blindfold and looked around. Sure enough, they were outside her building. She wasn't aware that they knew where she lived since they've never abducted her there before.

"Thanks for the lift, Minion. It was nice talking to you. See you next time?" she said. She was under no illusions that there wouldn't be a kidnapping plot soon. She opened the door to get out.

"You bet, Miss Ritchi!" he agreed with a grin. She exited the car and waved after him as she heard him pull away. She smiled as she thought about the little bit of info she had gathered and the seeds she had planted for getting additional information later. She turned to enter her building and was looking forward to taking a nice long bath. After the last few days, she deserved to take the day off and relax. At least she was still 'sick' for another day or so.

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

It had been a couple days since Roxanne had left the Evil Lair and life was getting back to normal. She was back at work and she hadn't even been in the office for an hour before Dan had sent her and her cameraman, Hal out to cover a fluff piece. She always suspected that Dan did this in the hopes that she would be kidnapped in the middle and boost the station's ratings. But then Metro Man might be there and she _was_ the go-to-girl for Metro Man stories.

Hal had already left the van to set up his equipment and she pulled down the visor to give herself a quick once-over. She was still thankful every time she looked in a mirror and she saw her own face. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and touched up her lipstick while making sure there wasn't anything caught in her teeth. Appearances were everything on TV after all.

She exited the news van and smoothed down her pencil skirt and blouse. She picked up the microphone and went to get into position. Before the camera started rolling, she liked to talk to the person she would be interviewing to help them relax. Today they were filming at a bakery named The Flour Uprising. The bakery had only barely escaped from a fire that had claimed one of its neighbors by the quick thinking of one of the owners and a timely intervention from Metro City's home-grown hero.

Roxanne approached the woman standing in front of the bakery wearing an apron. "Annette?" she asked. The woman smiled and nodded. "Hi," Roxanne reached out to shake her hand. "I'm Roxanne Ritchi and I'll be interviewing you in a few minutes. Just relax and we'll simply have a little chat. Don't worry about messing up, this isn't live. Do you have any questions for me?"

They continued to chat until Hal signaled that he was ready to start recording. Roxanne moved them to a good position where Annette's store front was visible behind them. Just about the time Hal said the shot looked good, there was a loud thud behind her. She turned and saw Metro Man had just landed. He _would_ have to be here to edge into the story, wouldn't he?

She gave him a friendly smile to stay professional, and asked him to wait behind the camera for a little while. After everyone was situated, Hal gave her the signal.

"Hello, Metro City. This is Roxanne Ritchi reporting in front of The Flour Uprising, a specialty bakery here on Main Street. They have more gluten-free and vegan offerings than any other bakery in the city. But this bakery nearly went up in flames when its neighbor started burning. The quick thinking of Annette Pratt, one of the co-owners helped save her store. Annette, can you tell us what happened that night?" Roxanne moved the microphone closer to her subject.

"Well Roxanne, we had already closed and I was finishing up some paperwork before I left for-"

'-_ing off the rails on a crazy train!'_

_Roxanne_ was suddenly looking down at a dismantled brainbot with one blue hand holding a small screwdriver and the other hovering above a circuit board with Ozzy Osborn blaring in the background. This wasn't right; she was in the middle of an interview. What the hell happened?!

With wide eyes she slowly straightened up and gently put down the screwdriver. She swallowed, then looked down at herself. Just as she expected, she saw she suddenly had a thin frame and was covered with black leather.

"MINION!" she turned and yelled in _his_ voice, trying to make herself heard above the music and hoping that he was nearby.

Thankfully, the music was turned down and she was answered, "Yes, Sir?" She spotted Minion as he turned the corner.

"What am I doing here?!" she asked in a near panic. Didn't they _fix_ this? What happened?!

"Well Sir, you're upgrading the opticals on the old-model brainbots," Minion replied with some confusion.

"No! Not 'Sir!' Roxanne! What happened?! I thought we were fixed!" Roxanne couldn't help the way her voice rose as she panicked.

"Miss Ritchi?!" Minion yelped. "Where's Sir?" he asked quickly.

"I was doing an interview on Main Street," she told him. Minion turned to go to the car. "Wait! Metro Man was there. You can't nab him now!"

"Then we'll be there when it's safe to grab him. Let's go, Miss Ritchi," Minion commanded in a no-nonsense tone. She let herself be herded into the invisible car. When they hopped in the car, Minion started it up and told her, "Eyes closed, Miss Ritchi." She sighed but closed her eyes as they left. Apparently she was about to kidnap herself. That was new…


	8. There and Back Again

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

**AN**: A special thanks to my friend Annette who allowed me to borrow her business's name (and her own) for a part of this chapter and the previous. If you're in Michigan, you should look her up!

Ch 8 – There and Back Again

It had been a couple days since Megamind had sent Roxanne home and he was now fully recovered from the newest yogurt incident. He had never been more relieved than when they had switched back and he could _understand_ his blue prints again. He had even started drawing up plans for a disguise generator while he was stuck in bed attached to that air mask.

Megamind turned on some music as he made his way to the workshop. Today he was going to upgrade the 500 series of brainbots to include thermal imaging capabilities on their optical sensors. He finished the upgrades on the first five bots without any problems. The sixth one though had some battle damage. It was still operational, but there were a couple tweaks he could do to improve its performance. He removed his gloves for the delicate work involved and gently removed the case on top to expose the brainbot's circuit board. He picked up a screwdriver and with his other hand, used a finger to touch a loose connection. Not surprisingly, it shocked him.

"-the night. I had just hit the lights when I smelled something burning."

_Megamind_ was suddenly looking at an unfamiliar woman who was in the middle of telling him a story. He noticed that he was apparently holding out a microphone for her to do so. The hand holding the microphone was oddly pale and his eyes widened slightly. He glanced down at himself and quickly took in the ruffled blouse and the sleek pencil skirt he was apparently wearing.

The woman had stopped talking. "Uh, huh. And then what happened?" he asked to get her to continue her rambling. He had more important things to figure out than listen to what she was saying. Like what had happened… Then she mentioned one of the few things that could make him pay attention.

"-and then Metro Man arrived. He was able to put out the fire before the fire department showed up and before my bakery burned down."

"Right. Metro Mahn," he repeated vaguely and slightly turned to get his bearings on where he was when he spotted someone he didn't expect to see. "Metro Man!" he exclaimed as he saw the white-clad hero himself standing behind the red-headed cameraman. He reflexively jumped back, but the heels he was unaccustomed to wearing didn't agree with his sudden movement and he hit the ground as his feet came out from under him.

A chorus of voices called out "Roxie!" and "Roxanne!" The woman that Roxanne had been interviewing reached down a hand to help _Megamind _up with a look of concern on her face. Not knowing her and always being wary of touching other people, he ignored her hand and quickly got up. Everyone was staring at him. Always staring. He started to back up away from the trio of onlookers while being conscious of how his weight was balanced in the unfamiliar footwear. His eyes darted back and forth looking for an escape.

He then recalled that he was in Roxanne's body and how distraught she had been about him not considering calling her job a few days ago. He couldn't just run out on one of her interviews. What was she interviewing this woman for anyway, and _why_ was Metro Man here?!

He took a steadying breath and smoothed down his shirt and skirt. Presentation, after all.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm alright. I just… uh… slipped," he lied to the onlookers. He looked at the cameraman who gave him a nod to continue. _Megamind_ saw that the red recording light was still on.

He gave the microphone a couple nervous taps then spoke into it while awkwardly staring into the camera, "And how did that make you feel, madam?" He then held the microphone towards the woman and felt a nervous smile freeze on his face. This was entirely different from his usual broadcasts and antics. He turned slightly to face her, but he was keeping an eye on Metro Man due to force of habit. He was _so_ unsuspecting right now; it was too bad this wasn't a part of a plan.

The woman finished talking and he brought the microphone back to his face, "There you have it folks. Another job relieved from your local firefighters due to the meddling of Metro Mahn. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting," he repeated Roxanne's usual sign-off after a jab at the city's 'hero.'

The cameraman took the camera off his shoulders and approached him, "Wow, Roxie. That was a different closing."

"Oh…uh…was it?" he stammered. He really couldn't help verbally poking at the overgrown ox and had thought that he kept it rather tame. "I guess I'm out of sorts today," he tried to cover up.

"That's cool. I totally get that. You ready to interview Metro Man now?" the cameraman pressed.

Crap, _he_ still needed interviewing? "You don't think we have enough footage of him tootling his own horn?" _Megamind_ asked hopefully while giving Metro Man a slightly disgusted look.

"Oh, you know how Dan is about those Metro Man exclusives, Roxie." The cameraman moved the camera back up to his shoulder. "Whenever you're ready, Roxaroo."

"Great," _Megamind_ grumbled and walked stiffly towards his nemesis. In a nervous gesture, he popped the collar on the blouse. The extra protection on his exposed neck made him feel a little more secure.

"Something wrong, Roxanne?" Metro Man asked as _Megamind_ got close to him.

"Something is _very_ wrong," _Megamind_ whispered heatedly. He knew that the super-being in front of him would have no trouble hearing. "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just get this atrocity over with."

_Megamind_ checked the camera, saw that red recording light and started, "So, Metro Mahn, what can you tell us about what was happening when you arrived at the bakery?"

"Well, Roxanne," Metro Moron said in that cheesy voice of his, "I happened to be flying by and saw the smoke and that the fire department hadn't arrived yet. I was able to put out the flames and save the day." He ended with that stupid smile that toothpaste companies vied for.

"Interesting," _Megamind _muttered unenthusiastically. He noticed Metro Man perking up as he heard something that only he could hear and his eyebrows lowered in consternation.

Before _Megamind _could come up with another inane question, Metro Man interrupted, "I'm afraid we're going to have to cut this short, Roxxie. Evil is afoot." He suddenly reached out and grabbed _Megamind_ and flew up into the air. _Megamind _dropped the microphone in shock.

"Unhand me, you oaf!" _Megamind_ snapped while they increased in altitude. Metro Man looked surprised and slightly hurt, but did land them on top of a nearby building and released him. _Megamind_ quickly stepped away and brushed down his clothes angrily while giving him a glare, "Honestly… thinking you can grab a guy like that…" He saw Metro Man giving him a questioning look. "What!" he snapped again while adjusting his collar to its full upright position.

"Roxanne? Are you alright?" Metro Man asked.

_Megamind_ froze. He had actually forgotten 'who' he was momentarily. "Roxanne… right…." He mumbled. He saw Metro Man giving him a scrutinizing look. He sighed in resignation, knowing he had blown his cover several times over. Eventually, even someone with the mental acuity of his foe would put the pieces together. He just wasn't _used_ to pretending to be someone other than himself.

He straightened up and looked his nemesis in the eye, "I'm calling a time-out," he declared. The two of them had always honored the 'time-out' system in their on-going battle of good and evil since it was only used for emergencies. And it was usually only used in private. They both had images to maintain after all.

"A time-out? What are you talking about, Roxanne?" Metro Man asked, but he _did_ drop the 'hero' voice. So that was something.

"Ok, first of all, _this_ was an unplanned side effect, and second of all…It's _your_ fault. That may be the most important point though. If you hadn't destroyed my electromagnet when I _clearly_ warned you not to, _this_ would never have happened! For Marie Curie's sake, _it had a plug_!" _Megamind_ had unconsciously taken to pointing dramatically as was his normal style. He had even adjusted his shoulders sharply a couple of times which would have made his cape flare, had he been wearing one, to accentuate his points.

"…Megamind?..." Metro Man asked in confusion.

"Yes. _Megamind_," he mimicked. "Honestly, I thought we had solved this problem…" he mused to himself, trying to figure out how they spontaneously switched bodies again.

"Where's Roxanne?" the white-clad hero demanded.

"Oh, she's with Minion, I'm sure. I'm guessing that you heard the two of them arrive when you declared ee-vil was afoot and air-lifted me away. Once the drones clear out, I _insist_ that you return me to their presence," he haughtily replied.

"Wait, so you two have been inside each other since the last battle?"

"Mostly, yes. And to answer your question, yes. You dropped _me_ off at Miss Ritchi's apartment and sent _her_ to prison," _Megamind_ decided to rub a little salt in the wound.

"So he _was_ telling the truth about being Roxanne…" Metro Man looked thoughtful.

_Megamind_ was flabbergasted. "She… she _told_ you?! And you _still _sent her to prison? What is _wrong_ with you?! She got me sick in there!"

"I assumed it was one of your tricks," he replied. At least he had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Oh please! If I was going to do that, I _think_ I would invent something more creative, and much less embarrassing, than that. You could have waited for me to regain consciousness and just _asked_ you know. If _I_ had been lying, do you really think Miss Ritchi would collaborate my story?"

"Roxanne…err…uhh…you were fine on the couch and was about to come to. And you…umm…_she_ started acting like you after I warned her not to attempt the insanity thing. This is confusing," he attempted to explain.

_Megamind_ barked out a short laugh, "You have _no_ idea, Metro Mahn. Is the coast clear yet? I need to get back to Evil Lair. Apparently, the previous solution was only temporary. And I propose we call a tru-seh until this _situation_ has permanently resolved itself. I'll notify you," he finished airily.

"Agreed, Little Buddy. I'll go check."

"Would you _stop_ calling me that? I am not now, nor will I ever be, your 'buddy,'" _Megamind_ retorted.

Metro Man lifted into the air and threw back a smirk, "Whatever you say. Little Buddy." Then he flew off to see what was happening back where they had just left. _Megamind _growled in frustration. That bloated buffoon never took him seriously! One of these days, _Megamind_ would defeat him. It was only a matter of time.

While he was stranded on the rooftop, he surveyed the nearby area for potential spots to launch another scheme. Unfortunately, this area seemed to be undergoing an urban renewal process. It might have been a good base a few years ago, but now it was a little too populated. He started scanning a little further out and spotted a run-down area. There was even a whole block that had been reduced to an uneven slab. That would be a perfect spot to set up something underground and rise up in that spot. From the right angle, you would see Metro City's skyline framed against whatever wondrous creation he decided to launch from there. He resolved to check out the area in greater detail when time permitted.

Before he could start to ponder what exactly could rise up in that area, Metro Man returned. _Megamind_ quickly averted his gaze from the potential launch site and turned to him with a questioning eyebrow. He saw that Metro Man was actually snickering and was just barely holding in laughter.

"And just _what_ is so humorous?" _Megamind_ asked in irritation. That only made the city's hero start busting out laughing. _Megamind_ crossed his arms in a huff.

"Let's just say that I don't envy you right now. Roxanne is madder than a wet hornet," his nemesis said while chuckling.

"Oh, ha ha. Let's see _you_ switch bodies with someone and _then_ we'll see how amusing you think the situation is. Can we leave now?"

Metro Man chuckled once more then replied, "Yes, the coast is clear. The only people in the area are yourself and Minion in that invisible car of yours. If they hadn't been arguing, I wouldn't have known they were there." _Megamind_ blinked. Minion was _arguing_? With Roxanne? What in Einstein's name did she _say_? He knew from experience how hard it was to get his dorsal fin riled up. He wondered idly if she had made him angry enough for his ridges to glow. He had only managed that a couple times in his life and he regretted it both times.

"Fine, let's go," _Megamind_ suggested and gritted his teeth as Metro Man held him once again. Just a moment later, they landed not too far from where they had been doing the interview.

"You should be safe now, _Roxanne_," Metro Man said with a wink. Just as _Megamind_ started straightening his clothes again and shot him a look, he flew off. Obviously washing his hands of the situation, or just running off to laugh in private. The coward probably just didn't want his girlfriend to know that _he_ knew that he put her in prison. _Megamind_ would bet that he was still lurking around in earshot at least to see what happens. Well! If _Megamind_ had anything to say about it, he wouldn't learn anything else today.

He looked around the intersection and finally spotted the Hudson's shimmery silhouette. He hurried over to the invisible car before the inhabitants could call attention to themselves. He quickly found the door handle to the backseat and jumped in.

"Minion, punch it!" he said loudly over _Roxanne's_ complaining in the front seat. Minion reacted on instinct and put the car in gear then started driving off. He realized that the 'arguing' was merely a heated discussion between the two occupants, and most of _that_ was from his body. Minion was too calm to have been in a recent argument.

"What happened, Megamind?" he heard his voice ask coldly. He saw _Roxanne_ looking back at him from the front seat.

He raised his hands defensively, "It appears that our cure was merely temporary, Miss Ritchi. On the plus side, we just need to replicate the events that switched us back in the first place until we can rebuild the Emergency Matter Transference Machine. Hopefully, reactivating it will give us some permanence in what body we reside in."

"Is it built yet?" she asked.

He coughed sheepishly, "Ah, well… you see… I wasn't aware that the situation was still in flux, so I uh… No. No it's not."

"Ugghh! Why not!?" she nearly yelled in frustration.

"Well, Miss Ritchi, you have to agree that _this _is not a desired effect. I was more than willing to put that particular invention on the scrap heap since we both believed that we were cured," he explained. He had already archived the plans for that particular invention too. Now he would have to dig them out again.

"So we just need to go to sleep, right?" she asked. "Minion do you have the Knock-out Spray?" she opened the glove compartment to see if the can was in there. "Let's get this over with."

Minion opened his mouth to respond, but _Megamind_ interrupted by quickly leaning into the front seat and over _Roxanne_ to shut the glove compartments before she could poke around. At least last time she was mostly bed-ridden…

"Stay out of there, Miss Ritchi," he commanded. "Besides, it's unlikely the spray would work in this situation." He wasn't really sure of that fact, but he currently had Roxanne semi-willingly in his evil clutches. Why hurry things when they know of a temporary solution?

"Why _wouldn't_ it work?" she asked. He also noticed Minion giving him a questioning look in the rear-view mirror.

"The Knock-out Spray doesn't induce the REM sleep cycle. As you're well aware, the effects are quiet temporary," he explained. It was as good a reason as any other. A sullen and sarcastic Roxanne was better than no Roxanne at all.

"Figures…" she muttered. Then a little louder, "I guess you'll have to call my boss again."

_Megamind_ sighed in frustration, "Didn't that camera operator witness Metro Mahn abducting me for my own safety? That wouldn't work?"

"_He_ would let me use the phone. Hey, what happened anyway? Were you interviewing him when we drove up?"

"Maybe a little," he confessed. "And he… well…he found out. I'm sure he's having a prairie day with that too," he grumbled.

"Field day, Sir," Minion corrected him automatically.

_Megamind_ ignored him and continued, "I did convince him to honor a temporary tru-seh. And I don't see why you continually interview that overgrown melonhead. Does he _ever_ say anything different?" he griped.

"What'cha gonna do?" _Roxanne_ asked with a shrug. "The public loves him. And I think my boss does too…"

_Megamind_ crossed his arms with a huff and turned to stare out the window. The mindless drones of this city would worship anything if it was wrapped up in a nice enough package. Hell, _he_ could give a better performance during an interview than that stiff-backed oaf did on camera. Not that anyone (besides Minion) had ever cared what he had to say…

Maybe he should look into bigger broadcasts during their confrontations. Yes, he occasionally pirated the airwaves, but he could make it bigger! More dynamic! More _dramatic_! He had a plentiful number of brainbots now; he could modify a few to project his pre-battle taunts and the glorious battles that follow onto the very buildings of Metrocity. Projections would be hard to see in the daytime though, and it just wouldn't do to put all plans into action after nightfall. Where would the audience and excitement be in that? But if he built something that could darken the _very sky itself_… YES! That would be perfect! And absolutely villainous! Think of the possibilities for his rare public appearances!

"Minion! Pen. Paper. Now!" he commanded absently while still brainstorming and searching the rarely-used backseat for such items. He didn't want to lose these fabulous ideas.

"Sir, I'm driving," Minion reminded him calmly.

"Gee, Megamind," _Roxanne_ began in a falsely-sweet voice, "I _could_ you help look, but then I just might open a super-secret glove box or console or something."

"Good idea!" he said, deliberately ignoring her sarcasm. He leaned over her once again to reach the glove box himself. Surely there were scraps of paper and writing implements in there. Just as he opened it, she started pushing him back.

"Get away from me, Megamind! Sit down!" she snapped.

"Just let me get a pen and paper and I will," he replied and resisted getting pushed back into the back seat. "See? _This_ is why you're usually restrained," he taunted. Since his legs were braced against the floor in the backseat, he was actually in a better position than _Roxanne_ for the one-sided shoving match. He started feeling around in the glove box for a pen. While he was groping and _Roxanne_ was trying to shove him out of her area, her knee slipped and banged against the open glove box which then slammed into his hand.

"Ahhh!" he yelled at the unexpected pain. It also caused him to lose his grip on the dashboard where he was supporting his weight and he fell across _Roxanne_. The unexpectedness of _that_ caused her to yell too.

Suddenly, they were both thrown forward a bit as Minion slammed on the brakes and put the car in park. _Megamind_ looked up enough to notice that they were on the side of the road. "Sir! Miss Ritchi!" Minion scolded as he turned to glare at them. "I am trying to drive a complicated machine here, so I would appreciate it if you two would stop bickering like children!"

Both _Megamind _and _Roxanne_ stared back at Minion in silence as he took turns casting a warning glare at one then the other of them. The two looked away, blushing a bit. Then _Roxanne_ made a noise like she had something her throat. A second later and she did it again. _Megamind_ glanced up at her and saw that her face was scrunched up and she was biting her lip.

She took a breath, then looked back at Minion, "Yes, _Dad_," she said in a playfully sarcastic tone then started sniggering. Minion's mouth fell open slightly and _Megamind_ couldn't help but snigger along with _Roxanne_. After a moment passed, they both quieted down but then made the mistake at looking at one another in the face. They both started laughing uncontrollably then. _Megamind_, who had been in the processes of getting up, fell back down across _Roxanne_, which just made them both laugh harder.

Minion just sighed and put the car in gear again.


	9. Getting Away

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

Ch 9 – Getting Away

Once they came to a stop in the Evil Lair, _Megamind_ had bolted out of the car to jot down his ideas that he was spazzing out about earlier. She removed the end of the cape from around her head and also exited the vehicle.

"Is he always like that?" she asked Minion who was her current guard.

Minion chuckled slightly and answered, "Only when he thinks of a 'great' idea or he's afraid it'll slip away if he's busy with other things. I bet it's the latter in this situation."

"Gee, sorry I'm crimping his style," she muttered sarcastically.

"Oh, no worries, Miss Ritchi!" Minion replied. He either missed the sarcasm or he was ignoring it. He was sometimes hard to read. Being an alien fish and all…

_Megamind _came around the corner then and clapped his hands together, "Well, Miss Ritchi, let's try to puzzle out what happened _this_ time. Minion, can you pull those plans again? I've already filed them." He turned and started leading the way to an interior room as Minion went in a different direction. She noticed that he was still wearing her heels and didn't seem to be having any balance problems. She was slightly jealous; it took her a long time before she could walk in those without stumbling. But then, she always had the impression that he was pretty agile.

They ended up in the area with all the monitors again. She scanned them to see if she could figure out the location of their lair, but _Megamind_ must have just been in here. All the monitors had a black screensaver with his logo in blue or silver rotating on them. _Megamind_ hopped into the high-backed chair in front of the screens and _Roxanne_ found another chair.

"Miss Ritchi, can you tell me exactly what you were doing, and if you felt anything strange?" _Megamind_ asked.

"Well, I was getting ready for the interview," she started, "I probably jinxed us by looking in the mirror and was glad I saw my _own_ face." She shot him a glare. This was _still_ all his and his stupid inventions' fault! "I checked my makeup, talked to my interviewee, Metro Man showed up and I moved him behind the camera. We started filming and then I was here. I didn't feel anything at all, just like the first time we switched. How about you? Anything?" She looked at him expectantly.

_Megamind_ was frowning in concentration then said, "I was listening to music and working on some brainbots. One had more damage than the others, so I decided to do some additional repairs. I exposed its circuit board then touched a loose wire and it shocked me. Next thing I know, I'm holding a microphone."

"Well, that's it then, isn't it? That shock?" she suggested.

"I believe so," he agreed. "I suspected that was what had triggered it, but wanted to be sure there wasn't anything on your end that may have con-try-butted."

"Can we do it again and see if it'll shwitch us back?" she asked. It would be nice to put in a full day's work for a change. She still needed to get him to call her boss…

"We can give it a try," he agreed with some of reluctance. "It was a pretty low voltage…" He looked intently around the room for something. When he didn't spot what he was looking for, he sighed and stood up. "Miss Ritchi, if you could pull the cape over your head again?"

"Why?!" she demanded. "I've been here before, remember?"

"Yes, and the lair was prepped for your presence at the time. That is not true today," he replied a bit stiffly.

"Fine, fine," she grumbled and grasped the edge of the cape she was still wearing. How he could wear this on a daily basis and not feel silly, she would _never_ know. She pulled it up and over her head, effectively blinding herself. At least it wasn't the bag. It would serve him right if she could shove his currently smaller head in that smelly thing. A slightly evil idea began to form in her head and she could feel an evil little grin cross her face. Oh, he had better hope they have this situation fixed sooner rather than later…

She felt him take her hand and lead her to a different room. When they got to where they were going, he dropped her hand and started moving about the room. Probably hiding stuff he didn't want her to see. Geeze, if this didn't work, next time they could just sleep it off in _her_ apartment. Seems like there would be less drama that way. But then again, maybe not. She _was_ dealing with Megamind here. It's like he _breathes_ dramatics.

"Ok, its safe," she heard her voice say.

"Finally," she muttered as she took the cape off her head. At least she didn't have any hair to mess up right now. She saw that they were in the workshop with the dismantled brainbot still on the table. She shot him a glare, "I was already in here today. What in the world did you have to hide?"

"Ah-ah, Miss Ritchi," he waggled a finger at her. "If you didn't notice earlier, I'm definitely not going to tell you now," he stated smugly. Damn! Another missed opportunity. When she initially found herself here she was freaking out too much to take in her surroundings. _That_ wouldn't happen again.

He walked over to the work table and looked down at the brainbot. "Brace yourself, Miss Ritchi," he warned before reaching a hand out to touch something. He pulled his hand back suddenly and looked at her. "Hmm… That method seems to only work in a unilateral direction."

She sighed, "Figures… I can't go to sleep this early, especially fighting your sleep cycles. So, what are we going to do now?"

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

_Roxanne_ couldn't believe it. After the failed transfer, they checked on Minion and saw that he was busy with the plans to rebuild that teleporter thing. _Megamind_ initially went over to help as she watched, but he quickly became withdrawn and sullen. She saw Minion give him a sympathetic glance before running them both out of the area.

After that was when things got strange. Well… strange for their usual dynamic. Instead of a gloomy atmosphere and maniacal laughter, it felt more 'friendly yet cautious.' At first _Megamind_ attempted to distract her with a movie or something, but she distracted _him_ by asking about a previous scheme. He actually lit up as he explained what his invention was supposed to do that time. Then she was swept along as he enthusiastically expanded on the how and why of past schemes and inventions she had been exposed to. She attempted to get info out of him about current works-in-progress or plans for the future, but he brushed those questions off. That eventually devolved into a friendly discussion of 'remember when…,' 'what happened when…' and 'what were you thinking?'

All in all, it had been… nice… It was almost like hanging out with a long-time friend. But he was a _supervillain_ who continually kidnapped her. Not a friend! Friends don't kidnap each other for bait!

_Megamind_ had finally convinced her to watch a movie after a delicious dinner courtesy of Minion. But, of course, _Megamind_ was watching it too so she was chaperoned. She couldn't really concentrate on it since she was thinking about the day's events and her serial kidnapper. At least tomorrow she would be back to normal and could put this behind her. Well, until they accidently switched places again or when he got that machine rebuilt. She thought she might understand why he usually got so aggravated with Metro Man. He'd come in and destroy stuff that _Megamind_ would just have to either scrap or rebuild. Yeah, that would get annoying. Surely that wasn't the root of their opposition, but it just might fan the flames.

Then there was _Megamind_ himself. She kept getting glimpses that suggested the villain she thought she knew was mostly an act. Oh he was still dramatic and over-the-top, but she was seeing less and less of the partly-crazed, evil mad-scientist. Every now and then, it seemed like he'd remember how he's 'supposed' to act and throw some of it out, but she was starting to suspect that was really what it was. An act.

When the movie was finished, they decided to go to sleep. _Roxanne_ was looking forward to the morning when everything would get back to normal. Well… normal for _her_ anyway…

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

Megamind smiled at the machine's progress. It had been few days since he and Roxanne had switched back to their proper bodies and he sent her home. Since then, he had been _extremely_ careful not to get shocked while working on a project. He and Minion had been working nearly non-stop on the Emergency Matter Transference Machine and in just a few hours it would be complete.

He turned up the background music and put on a dark pair of welding goggles. He just had a couple more welds to do, then it was all electronics work. He was still trying to decide if he should cordially invite Roxanne when it was time to test or pull off a kidnapping. Minion was in favor of the invite, but kidnapping would have just _that_ much more flare. And if they grabbed her early enough, there would be more time to handle any unexpected problems as opposed to waiting for her to get off work.

He lit the welding torch and leaned forward to weld on a seam. Just as the torch touched the metal, he was suddenly standing in front of an unfamiliar office door. He blinked a couple times to adjust himself to the suddenly lighter room and to reorient himself. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he brought a hand up and looked at it. He closed his eyes with a sigh and continued to bring the hand up to his face. Just as he suspected, they had switched places again. He was _so_ close to finishing! He ran the hand down his face and looked up to get his bearings.

"Problem, Roxanne?" a male voice unexpectedly asked from behind him. _Megamind_ jumped in surprise and spun quickly with his fists raised. He saw a middle-aged man with graying hair sitting behind a desk. He forced himself to relax.

"I…uh…," he stalled, trying to think of something. He quickly glanced around the room and figured the man was a colleague of Roxanne's. He spotted a name-plate that read Dan Lawson. That was convenient. "I just remembered that I have a doctor's appointment today and I'm running late," he lied and looked at his wrist noticing that there wasn't a watch. _Megamind_ put down his arm quickly in case the other guy noticed the lack of a time-telling device.

"Sorry, Roxie. I need you to do that report," he replied. Oh no. Not another report as someone else. He needed to come up with something that wasn't serious yet wouldn't cause any follow-up questions…

"I can't miss it. It's for… women stuff?" he tried. Evilness knows _he_ didn't want to discuss it, and he was hoping that was true for other guys as well.

He saw a look of disgusted surprise cross the man's face before he replied, "That sounds…important. You'd better go. I'll have Evan cover your spot."

"Thanks," _Megamind _said and hurriedly exited the door to leave before another conversation, or even the same one, started.

Once he left the room, he looked around. The door lead to an open floor with about twenty desks spread out evenly around the room. Only about half of them were occupied. He presumed one of them must belong to Roxanne, but he didn't know which one. He'd never been in her office before. Unfortunately, he would need her purse to hire yet another cab to make his way to the lair. He wondered if Roxanne would object too much if he implanted her with a tracking device. For emergencies only, of course. He _could_ do it without her knowledge if they slipped it into an unobtrusive spot, like between a couple toes, the underside of her heel, or the cartilage in her ear. That thought made him a bit uncomfortable though. Where's the fun in kidnapping the damsel if you can just press a button to find out where she's located.

Thinking of located, _where_ is her desk? He saw a woman headed his way and instantly thought of a plan to get to Roxanne's desk. As the woman got closer, he looked at the ceiling, then quickly placed a hand over his eyes and ducked his head with a hiss.

"Hey," he called out to the woman with his eyes tightly clenched, "I got something in my eyes. Can you help me to my desk? I have eyedrops in my purse." Here's hoping that woman works here and knows Roxanne…

"Sure thing, Roxanne," the woman agreed and took _Megamind_ by the elbow. He involuntarily flinched, but then forced himself to relax. Again. "So, you have anything planned tonight? Maybe going somewhere with Metro Man?" the woman began prying. Eww. Now _there's_ a nauseating thought.

"Not tonight," he replied, "I think I'll stay in. I've been out of sorts lately." More like 'out of body,' but that's close enough.

"Tsk. I swear, Roxanne, it's almost like you don't have a boyfriend. You never go out," the woman complained. They hadn't made it to Roxanne's desk yet?!

"Maybe I just don't mention it?" he guessed as an answer.

"Well, Honey, if that's it then you could stand to brag more. Someone might not think you're serious and try to snatch him away from you," the nosy woman warned. But then she was probably another reporter, and that seems to be a job requirement. In fact, this whole place was probably _full_ of nosy reporters. He had to get out of there!

"Here ya go, Sweetie," the reporter-woman said as they came to a stop.

"Thanks," he cracked open one eye to keep up the illusion, and sat down in the chair.

"Any time," she called as she hurried off. Apparently she had reporter business to tend to.

When she was out of immediate line of sight, he opened both eyes and started looking for Roxanne's purse. It had to be around here somewhere. It wasn't immediately apparent, so he started opening desk drawers. The bottom right one turned out to be locked. It would make sense to lock up a purse if you were going to step away from it. He reached down to his boot to remove the lock-picks he kept concealed in the heel, but then stopped as he noticed the unfamiliar heels he was wearing instead of his familiar boots. Nothing is ever easy. He riffled around looking for a key that would fit the lock, but came up empty-handed.

He huffed out a breath in frustration and felt his bangs move on the top of his head. Yeah, 'cause _that's_ not weird. He started searching her desk for items that could be used to pick the lock. At least it wasn't sophisticated. It took him ten minutes, and several reshapings of a paperclip, but he finally got the lock open. He opened the drawer and saw that he was, indeed, victorious. _There_ was her purse. She had _better_ have some currency within for a cab.

When he pulled the purse out, he saw it was resting on top of manila files. He wasn't going to pay it any mind, but his name on one of the files caught his eye. In curiosity, he pulled it out also and opened it up. Inside was a photo of him (it looked like a screen capture from one of his many broadcasts) and several newspaper clippings. Lots of the clippings covered his glorious rivalry with Metro Man, but there were a couple that mentioned him in what could only be called 'human interest stories.' Most of those were from near-victims that claimed he purposely moved his giant robot of doom away from them at the last moment, thereby saving their life. Pfft, if they hadn't been in the _way_ in the first place, he wouldn't have _had_ to steer around them. It's not like most of his giant robots could turn on a dime, you know. Preposterous! Although there are high hopes for the spe-ider bot's maneuverability. It was _nearly_ ready to test the prototype.

He decided that there wasn't anything damaging in the file, so stuffed all the clippings back inside. Then in an attempt to annoy Roxanne in the future, he took out a pen and signed the photo: 'Miss Ritchi, I didn't know you were a fan – Megamind-.' He grinned just a little evilly as he placed the photo back in the file and returned the folder to the drawer.

He got up from the desk and made his way to the elevator. On the way down, he located some cash in the same spot in her purse that he found it before. It should be enough to get him to the industrial district. He walked outside and moved away from the busy entrance. He looked down the street trying to find a cab, when someone bumped into him. He turned to glare at them then turned back to the road. As he was turning, he heard a rattling sound then a hiss as a spray hit him in the face. He thought he caught sight of a familiar furry arm right before everything faded to black.


	10. Turnabout

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Megamind nor am I affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway. I'm just borrowing the characters.

**AN:** Sorry about the delay folks, I had some trouble finishing up. I hope the quality didn't suffer.

Ch 10 – Turnabout

It had been few days since Roxanne had switched back to her body and left the lair. Since then, she had tried to keep her on-camera workload light just in case they switched yet again. She winced every time she even _thought_ about the interview _Megamind_ finished 'for her.' It was painful to watch. You would think that someone with as much flair for the dramatic as _he_ had would do well on camera. But then he _was_ having to perform in a different role than he was used to and without preparing at all.

And now, since she was trying to keep a light on-camera work schedule, Dan was calling her to his office. She had already been griped out about the Metro Man/bakery interview, now she was sure he was about to say something about _this_ too. She entered his office and decided to cut him off before he got on a roll.

"Look, Dan. I just haven't been myself lately. I'm sorry I'm not covering as many hours as I usually do, but once I get some personal issues straightened out, I'll be back to my old self," Roxanne said. She was actually slightly proud of that bit of double-speak.

"That's only half of what I called you in here for. What kind of personal issues, Roxie?" her boss attempted to pry into her business.

"Just that, Dan. Personal," she retorted. That, and she figured, 'Oh, I'm periodically trading bodies with the city's supervillain,' wouldn't go over well.

"Ok, ok, fine," he conceded. "I'll give you a week to get things 'straight.' If your performance doesn't improve by then, we'll have to have this little talk again. While you're 'taking it easy,' I'll still need you to do that report on the Metrorail."

"No promises, Dan, but here's hoping," she replied. And _boy_ was she hoping. How sad was it that she was going to have to depend on one of _Megamind's_ inventions to actually _work_? "I'll start on that Metrorail story today," she said as she turned and walked to the door to get out of Dan's immediate view and out of his office. He had taken to using a dehumidifier, and it always wanted to play havoc with her sinuses if she was stuck in there too long. She reached for the door handle and was surprised when it shocked her.

She was even _more_ surprised when she was suddenly holding a welding torch to a piece of metal right in front of her with AC/DC playing loudly in the background. Since she had never been close to a welding machine in her _life_, she quickly pulled back and looked for a way to turn it off. Eventually she figured out how to shut it down and did so. She pulled back and removed the dark welding goggles to look around. This time she wouldn't freak out. They were both aware that they could switch at any time, and apparently, had just done so. If she played it cool, she _might_ find out something this time around.

Minion didn't seem to be in the room, so she stepped back to see what Megamind had been welding on. It almost looked like that teleporter thing that caused this whole mess. Maybe he was almost done? She should be able to ask Minion when she sees him.

_Roxanne_ looked around the room and figured that she was in the 'workshop.' She spotted five pieces of paper suspended from the ceiling on red strings. She made her way over to see what in the world that could be. Upon examination, it appeared that they had to do with this body switching machine he was rebuilding. The blue prints were even hanging up. She looked them over, but couldn't really follow all the calculations. It looked like a cross between chemistry, algebra, and calculus and she just didn't take enough science or math in school to understand.

"Sir, I'm back with those parts you wanted," she heard Minion call from just outside the room. Damn! If she let on that she was herself, she wouldn't be allowed to snoop. Could she pull off being Megamind? Maybe to the public, but she didn't think she could fool Minion for long. What if she sent him on an errand?... She let herself smile a truly evil smile as she thought of the _perfect_ errand to send the fish on.

"Bring them in here, Minion," she commanded. _Please_ don't let him see through her. This would be the most fun she's had in months if she could pull it off. Minion came into the room carrying a box. He set it on the workbench and turned back to _Roxanne_.

"Want me to finish connecting the diodes to the trigger mechanism, Sir?" Minion asked her.

"No, I have another task for you, Minion," she said. She steepled her fingers in front of her chin and smiled a bit, "I want you to kidnap Roxanne Ritchi."

"Sir," Minion said in exasperation, which surprised her, "I _still_ don't think this is a good idea. She _knows_ we need her when we activate the Matter Transferor. She'll meet us if we ask." They've been discussing this? And Minion was sticking up for her, how sweet! Oh, but she's never heard these two disagree! Their plans were always set before she was brought in. How would Megamind respond?

She took a guess and said with an airy wave of her hand, "No matter, Minion. Let's get her here so she'll be available when we're ready instead of 'at her leisure.' Full service kidnapping this time, Minion. She's been getting off easy. I can't have her think we're getting soft."

"Of course, Sir," Minion agreed, but she could tell from the set of his jaw that he didn't like the situation. He left to presumably gather the Knock-out Spray and the bag before heading out. _Roxanne_ grinned. Now she just needed to set up the kidnapping chair somewhere. Revenge would be _so_ sweet!

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

An hour later and _Roxanne_ had been frustratingly unsuccessful in finding out anything. Megamind must have 'reporter-proofed' the lair again when they realized they could spontaneously switch at any time. She _was_ able to look under all the tarps and sheets that were covering half-built inventions throughout the lair, but that didn't really help her any. She couldn't tell what any of them was supposed to _do_. She could make guesses, but she'd been wrong in that department before. She couldn't even find any plans or notes or anything that didn't have to do with the teleporter thingy. He must have stashed all those away somewhere and she didn't have the time to locate them. Not from lack of trying… She hadn't even been able to find out _where_ the lair was located. The monitors were in their screen-saver mode and password protected and she couldn't find _any_ doors that led to the outside!

She smiled in anticipation as she heard the invisible car pull up. _Roxanne_ hurried to make sure everything was set up the way she wanted it. There was the kidnapping chair in the middle of the room, a control panel on one side, and the high-backed swivel chair Megamind liked. Perfect. She was going to forgo the threats, mostly because she didn't know the controls well enough, and partly because she would have to give up the act before then.

She turned towards the door as she heard Minion approaching. "Have any trouble, Minion?" she asked as she settled herself down in the swivel chair and he entered the room.

"No trouble at all, Sir," Minion replied with a grin. She saw her body slung unceremoniously across his shoulders. She grinned when she saw _Megamind's_ hands were tied and that he had the bag over his head. And with perfect timing, _Megamind_ started moving as he began to shake off the spray. She turned the chair around so she could do the spinning entrance he enjoyed. She slouched down and steepled her fingers in front of her chin as she heard Minion set down _Megamind_ on the kidnapping chair.

She heard the rustle as the bag was removed and then her indignant voice say, "Minion?! What are you doing?! Untie me at once!"

She gave an evil laugh and spun the chair to face him then said, "So we meet again, Miss Ritchi…"

_Megamind_ gave her a flat look and replied dryly, "What are you doing, Miss Ritchi?" She saw Minion's startled look as he glanced between the two of them.

"I simply thought I would save you the cab fare, Megamind. And isn't turnabout fair play?" she taunted. She heard Minion gasp loudly and watched as he hurriedly untied _Megamind_ apologizing all the while. She just smirked.

"Very funny, Miss Ritchi," _Megamind_ groused when he was untied. He brushed down her clothes and unconsciously popped the collar on her blouse.

"Why, yes. I thought so," she agreed a bit cheekily. Then she sobered up, "I'm afraid it was me this time. The door handle shocked me. How is _that_ enough of a shock to make us switch?"

"The voltage from my shock wasn't all that much greater than the voltage typically delivered with a static discharge," he told her.

"Huh. So how close are you to finishing the switching back machine? And is _this_," she gestured to the both of them, "a problem? Will we need to switch back first?"

_Megamind_ looked quickly over at Minion and something seemed to pass between them. Then he looked back at her and answered, "It should be finished in a few more hours, and our current arrangement should be optimal for testing. Minion?"

"I'm on it, Sir!" Minion replied and walked towards the workbench.

"And this'll be permanent, right?" she asked a little anxiously. "We won't switch whenever we receive a shock?"

"I've made a modification that should fix that issue. We'll test afterwards, of course."

"Well, here's hoping," she muttered under her breath.

"No need for that, Miss Ritchi. All my inventions work exactly as intended," he boasted.

"Oh yeah?" she deadpanned, "So you're in my body, _why_, exactly?"

"That was merely a testing-phase prototype which was prematurely activated through _no fault of my own_," he started defensively.

"_No fault?!_" she exclaimed. She started pacing agitatedly and used arm gestures to illustrate her points, "This whole _thing_ is your fault! If it wasn't for you kidnapping me all the time and picking fights with Metro Man, _that you never win,_ we wouldn't _be_ in this mess!"

"And if _he_ would have he-aided my warning then, as you put it, we wouldn't be in this mess, _and_ I would just now be getting out of prison," he pinned the blame on someone else, like usual.

"Oh, so you're just going to ignore the kidnapping and picking fights thing, huh?" she asked bitterly with her hands on her too-small hips.

"Well, _obviously_ I'm going to kidnap Metro Mahn's girlfriend for bait, Miss Ritchi. He's somewhat unreliable otherwise," _Megamind_ explained with a smirk and in a condescending tone that _really_ got under her skin while nonchalantly looking at his painted fingernails.

"Aaaggghhhh!" she yelled in frustration with her hands coming up to clench her hair which she momentarily forgot she didn't _have_ at the moment.

"My, my, Miss Ritchi," he said in a smooth tone of voice, "We seem to be getting a little flustered today. Maybe it's time to switch to decaf."

She turned to face him quickly, which caused her cape to flare out, and pointed at him as she said excitedly, "My coffee drinking habits are entirely appropriate for a healthy woman my age!" _Roxanne_ paused as she realized how weird that sounded in Megamind's voice, then started chuckling.

_Megamind_ quirked an eyebrow at her, but she just shook her head and continued laughing.

"Sir? Miss Ritchi? Can you two move to a different part of the lair? This is delicate work here." Minion interrupted their discussion.

"Certainly, Minion," _Megamind_ agreed. "Come, Miss Ritchi. Let's get out of Minion's way. The quicker he gets to work, the quicker you can go back to your dreary life."

_Roxanne_ had managed to get her giggles under control and started to follow him out of the room. "Dreary?" she asked, all the heat from the earlier argument had evaporated. "I think that's one term that absholutely _cannot_ be used to describe my life."

"It's all a matter of perspective, of course," he half-way conceded.

"And what is _your_ perspective, Megamind?" she asked. Interview skills were warming up. He always likes to talk about himself, maybe she would get lucky.

"My perspective is that you wake up, go to work, then come back home. How boringly normal," he replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. They had reached his viewing room and he sat down in his swivel chair. She didn't count earlier, but she could swear that he had a half dozen strewn about the lair in different places.

"Hey!" she protested as she also found a seat, "My job can be pretty exciting. I get to be where the news is happening."

"You're welcome," he replied smugly.

"I didn't mean _that_," she retorted. "I meant 'this building's on fire,' or 'this place got robbed,' or 'Little Timmy fell down the well.'"

"Hmm," he thought and tapped on his chin. Then he replied while ticking off on his fingers, "You're welcome, you're welcome and… well, I don't _think_ I've ever caused anyone to fall down a well. Probably due to their lack of numbers in urban areas more than anything else though," he shrugged.

She sighed and put her giant blue head in her hands. "You are _impossible_ to talk to. Do you know that?"

"No I'm not. You're doing it right now," he pointed out matter of factly.

She raised her head and looked at him. "Again, not what I meant…" she told him.

"It seems to me like there would be a lot less confusion if you would simply say what you mean," he taunted.

"Good thing I'm not confused. Anyway, can we get anything setup or anything while Minion is finishing up?"

"Nonsense, Minion has it all under control. He better have anyway," he grumbled with a look in Minion's general direction. "Miss Ritchi, why don't you stay here and watch some televy-shion while I go check on Minion?" he stood with a distracted look on his face and headed back towards Minion and the machine.

_Roxanne_ sighed and lifted the nearest remote. She turned towards the television and turned it on while fantasizing about getting back to normal soon.

-/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\- -/\/\-

A few hours later and _Roxanne_ was bored out of her mind. The TV was droning on about nothing she particularly cared about and she had already explored what she could of the lair. Not to mention that every time she decided to get up to snoop _Megamind_ would come and either herd her back to the chair or escort her.

Just as she sighed again, she heard a triumphant yell from where her kidnappers were working. Curious, she got up and headed that way. She turned a corner and collided with _Megamind_ as he came running down the hall causing them to both fall to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs.

_Megamind_ lifted himself off of her slightly and gave her a manic grin that looked sort of terrifying on her facial features, "We're done, Miss Ritchi!" He hopped up and extended his hand to her, "Come on! Let's go test it!"

She ignored his hand and picked herself up from the floor. "You sure it's safe?" she asked warily.

"Yes, yes. Perfectly safe," he waved off as he headed back the way he came. She swallowed nervously and slowly followed. She didn't really have much of a choice but to trust that his invention would work the way he said it would. "Hurry along, Miss Ritchi!" she heard him call from ahead of her.

She entered the room they had been working in and saw Minion and _Megamind_ running around the machine doing last minute adjustments. "I thought you said it was ready," she said.

"Ahh, Miss Ritchi, come stand here," _Megamind_ pointed to a spot in front of the kidnapping chair. Once she walked over to the spot he indicated he then instructed her, "Ok, stay there and hold your cape. I'll be in the chair holding some rope and then Minion will throw the switch! Ready, Minion?" _Megamind_ called as he jumped into the chair.

"You're not moving too fast?" _Roxanne _asked nervously at the same time Minion replied that he was ready. They ignored her and she heard a hum kick on and slowly start to get louder, like something was warming up. She saw Minion move to the back of the room beside a threatening looking level. Him backing away and his position by the lever wasn't helping her anxiety any. "Megamind?" she asked with a rising pitch to her borrowed voice.

Again she was ignored as she heard him ask Minion excitedly, "Power level?"

"Fourty-seven percent, Sir!" she heard Minion reply back. She couldn't believe it. They were enjoying this! She and _Megamind_ were _testing_ this machine they just finished cobbling together, and they were acting like kids on Christmas.

"Minion?" she tried. Maybe he would answer. Not that she knew exactly what she wanted to ask.

"Sixty-three percent, Sir," Minion answered distractedly while staring at a screen. She scowled in frustration and looked at _Megamind_. He was staring in Minion's direction though. _How_ were these two so blasé about this?

"Seventy-eight percent," Minion reported. As his count increased, she was getting more and more unsure about this plan.

"Eighty-five percent."

_Megamind_ finally looked at her and she could see excitement shining on his face. "Ready, Roxanne?" he asked with a wide smile and an unconscious nod. She could only stare at him in astonishment. How could he not be worried? And she was trying to remember if he ever used only her first name towards her before.

"Ninety-five percent power, Sir!" Minion said and placed a robotic hand on the huge lever beside him. "Ok, we're ready, Sir!"

If anything, _Megamind's_ smile widened. "Throw the switch, Min-yon!" he yelled with a point in Minion's direction then started laughing exuberantly.

"Throwing the switch, Sir!" Minion yelled back and pulled the level. In reflex, _Roxanne_ closed her eyes. She suddenly heard _Megamind's_ laughing seamlessly switch between her voice and his. Her eyes flew open and she saw Megamind with his blue skin and black leather standing over her.

His laughing trailed off and he asked, "Miss Ritchi?" She nodded then he crowed, "We did it, Minion!"

"I knew you would, Sir!" Minion congratulated as he was shutting the machine down.

"Haha! Come, Miss Ritchi, come! Let's test the electric shocks and make sure we stay put!" He almost bounced to the other end of the room. She got out of her chair simply enjoying the novelty of leaving the kidnapping chair under her own power and headed over to him.

"Ok, ready for the shock test, Miss Ritchi?" Megamind asked as she got close to him while removing a glove.

"Sure, let's see if it works this time," she agreed. She was a little surprised that nothing had went wrong so far. He smirked at her then reached out. He touched something on the workbench then quickly drew his hand back. He quickly looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Miss Ritchi, it appears that we are cured," he told her. She finally allowed a smile to form.

"Really?" she asked in excited disbelief.

"Of course, Miss Ritchi! Was there any doubt that my superior intellect would solve this conundrum?" he asked. Apparently he decided to put his arrogant pants back on again. She gave him a look that spoke volumes.

"Can I go home now?" she asked flatly. Hopefully they mostly worked on this cure for them and she would have a week or so until the next kidnapping.

She noticed he deflated slightly before he responded, "Of course, Miss Ritchi. Minion will take you home. I trust you recall our previous non-disclosure agreement."

"Yeah, yeah. I won't say anything," she replied.

"Excellent. Until next time, Miss Ritchi," Megamind said. She was about to raise an eyebrow when she was hit in the face with a spray. Her vision rapidly narrowed and she felt her knees buckle. She felt her back contact something then everything went black.

"Take her home, Minion," Megamind told his friend needlessly. Minion was already on the same page if the Knock-out Spray was any indication. "Oh, be sure to take that bag of her stuff with her."

"Yes, Sir," Minion replied and started to turn away.

"Oh, and Minion?" Megamind started. Minion turned to face him. "Thanks," he said simply.

Minion smiled at him in understanding, "Anytime, Sir." He shifted Roxanne to over his shoulder and moved to the invisible car.

Megamind watched silently as Roxanne and her stuff was placed in the car and then as Minion pulled out. He was glad that his invention worked, but he was also slightly disappointed. This was the most interaction he had ever had with Roxanne that didn't involve his plans to defeat Metro Man in some way or another. And even though she was aggravated at him about the accident, it was nice having her around when he wasn't worried about her poking her nose in where it didn't belong. He smiled wistfully as he recalled some of their more relaxed moments. He knew he would replay his memories of the two of them during the past week in his head repeatedly. He knew this experience was probably the closest he would ever get to being social with Roxanne.

And he fully intended to treasure every minute of their time together because, unless something unexpected happened, it was the closest they would ever be.

The End

**2nd AN: **And that's the end of this little fic. I hope you enjoyed. Thanks to everyone who made it this far, and your reviews are *much* appreciated.


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